


oxymoron

by TheStockholmEffect



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia
Genre: Actual plot is not serious., And aged Genny up a bit., F/M, Other, genny is of age by now, i played saber's age down a bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2018-11-13 01:11:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11173905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStockholmEffect/pseuds/TheStockholmEffect
Summary: [I aged up Genny, Celica and Boey and aged Saber down. During Echoes events, Genny is 18, Celica and Mae are 20 and Boey is 19. Everybody else has also aged up a little except for Saber. He's been aged down and is 29.]It's been three years since the war. Genny is 21 and still has her head in the clouds. Saber is 32, and Genny still can't bring herself to trust him. But when Genny recieves a cryptic, urgent message from Boey summoning her to Novis, she stumbles upon the one-eyed mercenary and together they make the journey to Novis. On this journey Genny finds out her feelings for Saber never quite disappeared...





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> So... for anyone who beat the game with Genny and Saber and read their respective endings, this story kind of explains that. The popular fan theory that they ended up married to each other, I mean. For those of you who need a refresher, Genny won't tell her friends who her husband is (she married somebody unexpected and it's heavily assumed it was somebody she was acquainted with when these events happened) and Saber always has his wife by his side and she's described as "stunning."
> 
> So yeah, this is my take on that. I don't intend this to be very long. Maybe like, ten short-ish chapters at the most.

Genny hadn't been to Novis in two years. She hadn't planned on _never_ visiting. She'd told herself she liked a quiet life and the priory at Novis, Mae notwithstanding, was the very definition of peaceful. She had thought Novis would be the perfect place to write a novel of the events that had occurred with certain embellishments - not that the journey needed any.

But life, as it always tended to, had gotten in the way. Celica and Alm had their work cut out for them. They had summoned as many people as they could to help with the restoration efforts. Alm had more friends helping out with the restoration efforts. Most of the people that had journeyed with Celica and Genny had been sellswords or had been on the journey for their own gain.

What seemed most shocking however was that Mae and Boey had quietly declined to help out, choosing to stay in Novis, stating that they'd had quite enough politics and adventure to last them a life time. Genny had seen the hurt in Celica's eyes when two of her closest friends had opted to not help out and Genny knew that even though Celica had Alm, she'd felt lonely without her own comrades. It was for this reason that Genny had opted to stay at the castle, if only to give Celica comfort. Besides, Genny thought, who was she without Celica? She'd always considered herself the princess's shadow and even though Celica was now known royalty, Genny didn't think their relationship had changed all that much.

And so, apart from a two week vacation where Genny had visited Novis, she'd spent most of her life at the castle. There were priories to be opened, and temples to be restored, after all.

It wasn't until Boey sent a message to Genny that she thought to return. His message was brief, his handwriting, remarkably untidy for such a man who insisted on acting proper and whose letters were usually neatly structured. This time it was cryptic and desperate.

_Genny,_

_It's been years since you've last visited Novis. I'd like to see you soon. I would not ask this favor of you were it not important._

_Yours most affectionately,_

_Boey_

She'd packed her bags, of course. It was just as well, she'd thought. Celica had announced she too was taking a vacation, though she hadn't specified where. Genny was not one to pry the princess's private matters. Celica could be secretive; she was not an open book like Genny had seen of Alm, and Genny knew Celica usually had her reasons to act this way.

Realizing this was the perfect opportunity, she set off toward Novis and it had been on this journey where she'd run into somebody very, very familiar.


	2. Tavern Brawl

Zofia's Harbor, now called Mila's Port ever since Zofia and Rigel became Valentia, still seemed the same to Genny when she arrived. The familiar seagull screech, the sharp scent of the coastline and the breeze that combed through Genny's curls brought back feelings of nostalgia. This had been where she'd first stepped into Valentia. At the time, it had just been Celica, Boey, Mae, Saber and Genny. She had come along, mostly because she didn't know what to do with herself without Celica. She remembered feeling lost, and apprehensive. Aside from Saber, all of them had been sheltered for the most part, by the priory. 

Now, the port seemed smaller, more familiar and as it was quickly turning dark, she headed toward the tavern. It was dimly lit, and Genny found herself a table with some bread, cheese, and ale. There, she took out a notebook and began to write. For Genny, she hardly had time to write while at the castle with Celica and so she took every opportunity to jot down story ideas. She wrote about lost princesses, dashing soldiers, seductive mages and flirtatious sellswords and yet none of them had ever amounted to much.

As the night grew older, the inn became bawdier. Eruptions of laughter became more frequent, drinks were sloshed around more sloppily, and certain men were becoming more daring to the serving maids. To Genny, this had never been a concern. She had always been a wallflower, preferring to hide behind her mop of hair and wear looser dresses that covered her skinny frame. Mae had complained. 

"You have, like, a  _model's_ body, Gen! I'd  _kill_ for a body like that! And these curls! If you just did something with your hair..." she'd muse. There had been a few times where Mae and Celica had teased Genny's curls away from her face and secured it with a headband when they'd reached Zofia's old castle, and Saber had squinted at her as if seeing her for the first time, his one dark eye scrutinizing her so deeply, she'd blushed. He hadn't said a word, but it had been enough for Genny to start wearing her hair back to normal. She didn't like attention and this way, she didn't attract attention. Even now, in this bar nobody paid attention to her which was just the way she liked it. She could observe and write unbothered this way.

And so, for a time, this was how it went. Against the din of the inn, she scratched away at her notebook until she heard a particularly loud scrape of chairs and suddenly there was yelling. 

Genny looked up, curious, but there were so many people crowding around the fight, that she couldn't see who the fighters were. Deciding not to get  _too_ involved, she instead listened to cheers, and the loud yelling.

"Don't tell  _me_ about honor!" one of them yelled over the egging and chanting. Genny mused that it must have been about a girl. It was always about a girl.

Suddenly there was a collective gasp and when she looked up, the crowd had taken a collective step back and she heard, above all the noise, the innkeeper yelling, "Anyone got a medic? There a healer 'ere? Lotta blood I don't want leakin' over my tavern."

When nobody got up, Genny sighed. Sages, Priestesses and Saints were all scarce nowadays. Nobody liked admitting they prayed to Duma or Mila exclusively since the end of the war. Meekly, she raised her hand, and joined the crowd. "I'm a Saint," she whispered, but nobody heard her. Instead, she was roughly shoved aside.

Now, thoroughly annoyed, she yelled, "I'm a healer!" 

Surprisingly, that got everyone quiet. The men and women stared at her. Nervously, she mopped her bangs over her head, and said, "Well? Let me see them!" 

Hastily, the crowd parted, and she found herself walking over to the man. He had a large build, and a lot of beard. His eyes, a piercing light blue, stared at her. She quickly noted that he'd been stabbed in the shoulder. There was also a scrape over his eyebrow. She knelt in front of him.

"Oh, so you think you can heal me?" he asked, his voice unusually high for such a large man.

She grit her teeth. "Do you  _want_ me to keep that shoulder bleeding out?" Even though she hadn't properly examined the wound, she could see that while he would bleed a lot, the wound wouldn't kill him. Whoever had stabbed him had probably only wanted to maim him. 

He grunted. "Make it snappy."

She did. She ripped his tunic at the neck so she could see the wound, and, rather than solving this by using sterilized towels, she placed her hands over the wound and began to pray. Genny hadn't healed wounds by prayer as much as she used to before the kingdoms had been united. Magic was somewhat weaker, now that Duma and Mila had been laid to rest. Only the most powerful mages and healers could pull off magic without a staff of some kind.

She licked her lips. "Oh Mila, grant me this favor and save this man's life so that he may continue to follow in your bountiful footsteps." She wasn't sure what kind of man this was, whether he was a godsfearing person or not, but the familiar feeling of being totally drained came over her. She felt the energy leave her fingertips and she watched as the skin began to form together. The man clenched his teeth and groaned in discomfort, and by the end of the prayer, all that was left was a pink scar.

Exhausted, Genny fell back. Without the Goddess alive and present, magic was not amplified. This normally wouldn't have sapped her strength this much, but now she found herself hungry and in need of a long, hot bath. She rose, stumbling a little, as the tavern spun around her a little.

"Right," she said, licking her lips. She looked at her dress, finding it to be drenched in blood, as well as her hands. She hadn't noticed that she'd knelt in a pool of his blood. "I need a bath."

The innkeeper gaped at her. She frowned, her patience wearing thin, spots dancing in front of her eyes as she swayed precariously. She hadn't expected to be drained to the point of passing out. She fought to stay conscious.

"What? Does the other idiot who began this fight need healing too? He'll have to wait. I'm starving and disgusting."

It was then that she felt the thud of boots draw toward her that she lost her snappish mood. The steps sounded definite, like they could do some damage.

"The  _idiot_  don't need none of that witch healin' of yours."

The voice was low, dangerous. But then, Genny thought, as she felt her vision grow in and out of focus, it had always held a note of danger that made her not entirely trust him. She knew that voice.

"Saber," she said faintly, recognition drawing over her face, and as her vision came to focus one last time, it was like he hadn't aged a day but he was peering at her with his one good eye as if she were someone unfamiliar. "It's me."

And before she could elaborate, she fell down into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few chapters written out already, but I'm going to post them so that I can write to the end before I finish the series. Therefore, chapters will be staggered.


	3. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saber and Genny meet for the first time since the war ended, but it doesn't go as smoothly as either of them would have liked. Saber makes up his mind.

As the youngest between Celica, Boey and Mae who had all grown up in the priory together, Genny had been treated as a younger sister to them all. Though she knew Boey had a family of his own, as did Mae, she considered them family and had, from a very young age, assigned them to each role. Celica was obviously the eldest. Even when Celica was young she'd always had a flair for authority. Mae had been the middle sister, excitable, eager to stand out and commandeering in her own way. She was a support and a comfort to Genny if she wasn't being annoying with her chit-chat. Boey had also acted like a middle sibling, trying but ultimately failing to be a more mature older brother. 

It stood to reason then, Genny thought, that she would be the youngest and therefore, the baby of their little family. Being the baby often meant being painfully shy and awkward, as was the case in most stories. The youngest sisters were shy, awkward or spoiled while the youngest princes were often favored as gentle or kind.

But now, since every one had split their own ways, Genny wondered if it was just because she filled "the baby" of their adoptive family that made her shy. Maybe there was something inherently genetic about how awkward she was. Genny had tried to be more assertive, more smooth with her tongue, but quickly realized her words were better understood on paper where she had time to craft sentences that were meaningful, witty and tragic when they were meant to be tragic.

This was why she wasn't good with making friends. Even when they'd traveled, Genny preferred only Celica, Boey and Mae's companionship. Sonya had been the rare exception, and that too, it was perhaps because the busty mage had sought her out, not the other way around.

All of this was going through Genny's mind when she came to, slowly as she remembered the very last thing she'd said before she'd lost consciousness. How stupid could she be? She squeezed her eyes further shut and tried not to recall Saber's confused face. He hadn't even recognized her. 

 _It's me._ Why couldn't she just have said her name? Would he have even remembered her name? Genny bit her lip. He'd always called her  _girl_ , which irritated her. He'd never called her  _lass_ like he had Celica or even Mae.

They'd interacted a few times on their journey together. Mostly, Genny healed his wounds and he'd responded with a careless, "Thanks, girl," without looking in her general direction. And then there had been... _that time._ Genny's heart always stopped when she recalled it. Sometimes Genny wondered if she'd dreamt of _that time_. Certainly, Saber had never indicated it had actually happened the day after and Genny never thought to bring it up herself.

Because for the most part, Genny had kept her distance. There was something about Saber that screamed dangerous. He never actually  _said_ he was, but, well, it was the way he carried himself. There was confidence in that slight swagger of his and the way his hand rested on the hilt of his scabbard, the other on his hip. The natural close arch of his brow afforded him a fierce, brooding expression, but it looked natural, certainly not forced.

Most people pointed to his eyepatch for how they found him dangerous. Even Celica had confided to Genny in private, when she'd first hired Saber that she was uncertain if they could trust him, but that she'd been desperate since none of them knew much of traveling. Certainly the eyepatch was just another testament to just how deadly Saber could be.

But it was his smile that made Genny most distrustful. Saber didn't smile often, but when he did, Genny learned you never wanted to be on the opposite end of it. He flashed that smile right before a particularly vicious, critical hit and it was a pirate's smile that spoke ill. Genny had seen it often, and she'd been grateful that she never had received it.

Until now.

When she woke up, he was staring at her. And he was smiling that pirate smile, his teeth gleaming just slightly. She noticed there was a tiny scar on his upper lip that hadn't been there before, but before she could investigate further, he said, "Finally up, are you?"

She almost bolted up, instantly on guard. She wasn't sure why she'd done that. Saber had done nothing to warrant such behavior. They'd fought on the same side after all, hadn't they? And Saber had proved himself useful and trustworthy, time and time again, seeing the war to the very end. He could have bolted any time. If Genny felt comfortable around Sonya, surely she could feel the same to Saber, she reasoned.

"Woah there," Saber chuckled. He threw his hands up, palms facing her, in a gesture of surrender. "I'm not goin' to do anything, girl."

Her throat dry, she managed to say, "It's Genny."

He merely blinked at her.

"Do you even... remember me?"

He didn't answer, and suddenly she felt stupid for asking that question. Why would he? She wasn't anyone special. She looked away from him, her throat closing up unexpectedly. She stared at the room she was in. It appeared to be the inn she'd been earlier. The sheets were white, the walls threadbare. There was one window that let the sea breeze roll through, though the view only let out to the streets.

"'Course I remember you," Saber said after a long pause. "I always remember takin' a girl's first kiss." Her mouth dropped. 

 _That time_.

Her gaze bolted back to Saber again. His smile had turned wicked, turning wider and wider, the more flushed Genny felt. "You weren't... you weren't my first..." she stammered. The nerve of this man! Technically, Saber really  _hadn't_ been her first. That honor had gone to Boey when she was six, Boey seven, and Celica and Mae were eight. They'd all been talking and Celica had nervously admitted that she'd kissed a boy before - who Genny privately thought now to be Alm. It was the only person who really made sense.

It was back then that Boey had asked Celica to kiss him, his face flushed, when he asked. Celica was new, mysterious, and pretty and Genny knew that Boey found all of that appealing. His crush had faded, as it usually did, when he met a new girl. His crushes were rarely lasting. When Celica refused, her face red, he'd mashed his mouth against Genny's and then Mae had demanded Boey to kiss her too which Boey hadn't. 

He raised his eyebrow. "That's not how I remember it," he said, his voice cutting into her thoughts.

"S-so you do remember." 

Saber's smile faltered a little. "We went through a war together and for the longest time, you were the only one who kept us alive. 'Course I remember you."

"Oh." Genny looked down, suddenly embarrassed all over again. Of  _course_ he remembered her. She tucked a curl behind her ear. "Well-"

"You gonna tell me what a girl like you's doing all alone in this port?" he interrupted.

"Um... that is," she said, and furrowed her eyebrows as she stared at her lap. "I wanted to see my home."

"Is that all?" he sounded doubtful which struck Genny as strange. She'd known Saber to be perceptive. After all, you didn't get to be a gifted swordsman without being able to read your opponent well. But there was a fundamental difference, she thought, between reading your opponent when it came to swordplay versus voicing something that wasn't uncommon for people to say.

Truthfully, calling Novis her home was a lie. Genny never really considered Novis  _home_ the minute they'd left. She had been as surprised as anyone to find that out. She hadn't wanted to leave at first, but the minute they'd stepped foot in Valentia, she felt the excitement in her heart. Now, she scarcely thought of Novis, except to think of Mae or Boey or any of the other Saints in the priory.

"Why are _you_ here?" she changed the subject. "I heard you... you were with Jesse... and Kamui." 

Saber, Jesse and Kamui had all, as a matter of fact visited the castle only once when Alm had been coronated as ruler of Valentia. This was when Genny found out about the country Jesse had founded for mercenaries. It had sounded dangerous to Genny back then and still did. 

He raised an eyebrow. "Keepin' tabs on me?"

"N-no!" she protested. Again, she wondered why his line of questioning offended her that much.

But he didn't seem to mind. He got up and stretched. He was only slightly taller than the average male, and slightly brawnier. Genny couldn't help but study the way his broad muscles slimmed to his waist. He was still fit, which meant he must still be doing mercenary work. "Decided to take a bit of a break from there so I could visit my sister. I'm on my way back, as it happens."

Oh, right. Saber  _did_ have a sister. She remembered Celica telling her that much. "Oh." She took a deep breath. She scratched at her neck and when she pulled her hand away she realized she was wearing a nightgown. Instinctively, she drew her blanket up to her chest, even though the nightgown was high-necked and long-sleeved, resembling something a young child or a grandmother would wear.

 _I wasn't wearing a nightgown when I passed out_. 

"S-Saber?" She felt herself growing hot, wondering how best to phrase the question.

"Mmm?"

"Why am I wearing a nightgown?"

He froze mid-stretch and half turned, to look at her.

"Don't tell me," she said, horror evident in her voice. "You didn't-"

"Relax, girl, I didn't. I had the owner of the inn have his wife wash you up and change you. 'Sides, I'm not into children. You're what? Twelve?"

Ouch. That stung. "I'm older than that." The petulant way she said it made her sound even more childish.

"Twelve and a half?" Oooh, that man! She wanted to wipe that teasing grin that he'd adopted.

She got up, smoothing her hair back, brushing her bangs out of her face before folding her arms. "I guess it may seem that way to somebody who recently celebrated their seventieth birthday. I'm surprised you have all your teeth."

Surprise registered on his face. His grin didn't fade, but instead it became harder, and less playful. "You callin' me  _old_?"

She dragged her eyes up and down his frame in what she hoped was a dismissive glance. "I can almost smell the  _old people_  scent from here." She actually had no idea how he smelled.

 _Now_ his grin faded, though he seemed more bemused than anything else. "Do I really smell?" He lifted his arm to his nose and sniffed. He turned to leave. "You seem well enough, so I'll let you get changed. Had your clothes washed and the lady inkeeper had 'em out to dry all night so they should be good to go." His eye raked over her as well once, before he left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Genny narrowed her eyes at the door, before heading to the bathroom. The nerve of this man! Calling her young! She was twenty-one now. That was a good three years older than eighteen where, admittedly, she was a little greener.

She cupped her breasts wonderingly. In three years, her figure  _had_ gotten a little fuller. Her chest wasn't as flat as it used to be, and her hips had gotten a little wider. But on the whole... She stared at herself in the mirror.

 She was no Mae, whose breasts were already showing when she was twelve, and certainly no Celica who cut a graceful, feminine figure. She was skinny and if she cut her hair short, still could pass for a prepubescent one.

It had never bothered Genny before, that she looked frail and dull but now that Saber had remarked on her body... She bit her lip. It was almost hopeless. She reached for her clothes. True to Saber's words, they were dry, and once satisfied with her appearance, she went downstairs.

The inn was a lot quieter than last night. She smelled sausages and when she went up to the innkeeper he declared she could eat for free, which was just as well anyway. Genny hadn't brought a lot of money with her and the way her stomach was growling, she knew she was starving.

This was another thing she'd noticed. Healing with magic not only depleted her strength a lot more, but it also left her feeling ravenous. She found herself eating three times the amount than she usually did. 

Sating herself, she went outside to the docks. The sea breeze carried a scent that was salty and smelled of fresh fish. There were cats everywhere looking for a bite. Genny spent a copper purchasing several pieces of dried beef and began to feed a small crowd of cats that began meowing at her feet.

She thought about Saber. It was a stroke of luck that she'd met him here, really. She'd hardly seen anyone else of their group aside from Celica and Conrad. There'd been a few times Sonya had visited the castle, but it had always been on official business and each time Sonya had visited, Genny sensed a dark presence looming around her. It wasn't until after the war that Sonya had confessed she was looking for a cure for all witches. She'd asked Genny to accompany her each time she visited the castle, while looking for more witches, but Genny said no. She supposed it would make for a good story. Sonya was the perfect protagonist, bewitchingly beautiful, talented and cool. She had a dark past, her family all meeting a dark end, and she alone pursued a noble quest that may have taken her across the lands.

Genny worried for Sonya. She'd once been a proud woman with a cool mind, but these days...

"You're spoilin' them," Saber said, making Genny jump. Several cats scattered at the sudden movement.

Saber chuckled lowly. "If I din't know no better, I'd say you were 'fraid of me."

"Just startled, is all," Genny said, smoothing down the folds of her dress. She sat back down on a crate. She chanced a peek at him, and their eyes met. "You caught me while I was in thinking about something."

Saber plopped down next to her, the added weight on the crate making it groan slightly. Genny tried not to notice, the warmth of his presence. "'Nother story?"

"Maybe," she said evasively. It wasn't a lie.

"You just left the inn without saying bye."

She blushed. "Sorry." She cleared her throat, and turned slightly to face him, her heart hammering. "And uh, sorry again. I was probably not really nice to you. So... sorry for that. And um, thanks? For getting me into a room and stuff... And not leaving me out there all fainted."

Foolishly, Genny thought, it looked to her as if Saber wanted to smile, as he locked eyes with her. But instead, his gaze dropped to her lap, and he plucked a piece of dried beef from her hands, popping it into his mouth. She stiffened at the skin contact, but he didn't seem to notice. He looked away, chewing slowly on it. "Don't gotta thank me for nothin' at this point. We've been through a lot together, haven't we? I think we're past thanks and pleases, girl."

"Genny," she automatically said, but she felt something stir in her chest. She felt  _touched_ almost. 

He didn't respond. A yellow-eyed black cat leapt on his lap. Saber regarded it for a moment. Then, hesitatingly, he pat at its head. Before long, he was scratching the underside of its chin, and it was purring loudly.

"You said you were headed to Novis," he said after a long moment. 

"That I am," Genny responded.

"It's still dangerous there y'know," he said. "I know we wiped out Grieth's stronghold, but you probably know the war left lots of people who didn't want Zofians and Rigelians minglin'."

"Yeah," Genny said. She'd heard Celica many times arguing with chancellors who disapproved of Alm's choices of uniting both kingdoms under Valentia. Both nations viewed each other with disgust and distrust. As she'd heard it, Zofians argued that it was Celica who should rule over Valentia, not Alm. After all, hadn't Celica done just as much to restore and liberate the continent? As for Rigelians, there were some who wanted Alm and some who didn't. Alm was still the person who had, as the rumors had gone through, murdered Berkut and Rinea, the future rulers of Rigel. Who was this Alm anyway? Supposed Rigelian royalty. The boy hadn't even had proper lord etiquette. A mere village boy from Zofia couldn't handle the complexity of ruling a nation, let alone two. "Celica and Alm are having a tough time."

Saber frowned. "Yeah, I don't envy 'em. Pair of kids didn't ask for this mess and all these people are so ungrateful. They don't know the half of what could've happened if we let things remain as they were. As it is, most of 'em don't agree with this Valentia business. Some don't like it so much they've started goin' to Novis. Lots of angry people who don't know how to make a living. There are more pirates there than ever."

Genny gulped. "It's too late to request for a guard now," she said. "I'd have to wait here for at least a few extra days and I didn't bring enough money for that." The sea breeze blew through, ruffling her hair. "I'll be fine, I think."

Saber's laugh was a little unkind, Genny decided. "How much do you weigh? Less than 100 pounds? You don't even know how to use a sword and from what I saw at the inn yesterday, you can't even heal a simple scratch with your magic."

"That wasn't a scratch, that was a stab wound," Genny said, stung. But she knew he was right. 

"Whatever." Saber faced her again. "You can't go alone. You're just a girl and there are a lot of men out there who'd like to wipe that innocent look off your face."

Genny rolled her eyes.  _That_ wasn't true. "Nobody looks at me like that, Saber. It's like you said, I'm a child. I hardly even look like a girl. The danger of a man taking advantage of me-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence because she noticed Saber was staring at her, and he looked seriously angry. His eye seared into hers and, she was sure it was unconscious, but he'd leaned slightly into her. "You've no idea, do you?" he said. 

"W-what?" She blinked, pulling slightly away.

He merely stared at her a moment longer, blinked, and then it was like he deflated but he still looked annoyed. "You're still so sheltered."

"I'm... I'm not sheltered!"

He looked away from her. "Yes, you are. Annoyingly so." He huffed, shooing the black cat away. "I've made up my mind."

"I don't care if you've made your mind up or not," Genny said, forgetting how nervous he usually made her feel. "I am  _not_ sheltered. How can you even  _say_ that? We went through the same things together."

"Our experiences are not the same, girl," he said. He stood up. "And I've made up my mind on something else." There was a tone of finality in his voice as he said the next words. "I'm coming with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, been a bit busy as school's begun. Forgot all about this and my drafts got deleted in the process because of the amount of time that had elapsed. It's okay though, I'm still committed to seeing this through. Thanks for the comments, you guys have been lovely!


	4. A Pirate's Life For Us

"N-no." Genny wished her response sounded less shaky, more firm. Already she could see how Saber seemed less than surprised, as if he'd expected her weak rejection.

She wasn't even sure why she'd dismissed him so easily. If Saber wasn't Saber, if he was Boey, Kamui or even Jesse, she wouldn't have refused, and would have actually welcomed them with relief. Going with no companionship at all, even if she didn't have to talk to them, was intimidating to her.

"Why're you so hesitant on acceptin' my help?" Saber asked.

She didn't respond, not knowing how to articulate how uncomfortably aware of herself his presence made her feel. How hyperaware she was of him. If this were a novel, Genny thought, this would be because she was attracted to Saber.

She pushed that thought away.

No, no. It wasn't that, couldn't be that. Except Saber was, in some ways her type. Mae had always teased Genny about being into older men and Saber fit that bill. But Genny liked older men because they were mature. In some ways Saber wasn't. He was brash at times and he'd been known to be a heartbreaker, according to Jesse who spoke of him in reverent tones. Genny didn't like heartbreakers. She was into dashing nobility and the like. Nobility like Clive and Ezekiel who knew how to treat a lady right. 

Saber was the furthest thing from nobility. He was dangerous and crude and he seemed to pride himself on that. He did what he wanted and followed his own ideals and principles. The only person who had ever been able to change his mind, Genny thought, was perhaps Celica and the princess had to bribe him with a Zofian treasure to even consider it in the first place.

Oddly enough, Genny wondered if that was why she was attracted to him. These very qualities that she thought she abhorred.

And she couldn't deny that he was a good kisser. She blushed. There were worse ways to get your practically-first kiss, since she privately didn't count Boey. But then, she reasoned, she supposed he'd had a lot of practice. 

"I'm perfectly fine on my own."

"Told you about those pirates didn't I?"

"You did," she responded, her voice unexpectedly curt. "But I can take care of myself. It's just a few days of a ride."

"Took us weeks when we first left from here."

"Because Celica wanted us to take care of the mess-"

"Caused by pirates," Saber said. He pushed himself off the crate they'd been sitting on and the cats around them scattered. His land on the dirt path was light. "Listen," he said. "As it turns out, I also got some business in Novis. Wasn't planning on actin' on it but since it's Jesse..."

"Jesse?" Genny asked, thinking about the youngest mercenary between Kamui and Jesse. "What's he..."

He smirked at her, flashing his teeth slightly. "Not sure if I trust you with that information."

Genny's mouth hung open. Was he mimicking her earlier response, when she'd refused to tell him why she was going to Novis?

She snapped her mouth shut. "I didn't want to know anyway."

Saber crossed his arms. He still looked extremely pleased with himself. "Consider this a stroke of luck, girl. It's not often I see a familiar face. And I'm not even charging you for protectin' you."

"I didn't  _ask_ you to," she mumbled, but she slid down the crate too, landing a little less gracefully than Saber. 

She caught him staring at her when she finished straightening herself. "What?" she said.

He didn't respond, his eye carefully studying her. Genny almost began to fidget, looking away. "You look as though you've never seen me before."

His face brightened suddenly, as if he suddenly understood something. "Could it be... do I scare you?"

Genny bit her lip. "No!" she protested, but it came out so forceful that even she didn't believe the lie. "Of course not."

But he was frowning, and she knew she hadn't convinced him. 

"Why would I be scared of you?"

Saber regarded her for a moment, then held his hands up as though he'd surrendered. "Okay, hows about this? We book the same ship, but we don't have to interact at all, you hear? I'll just be watchin' over you."

Now Genny felt bad. "It's not that I'm  _scared_ of you," she hastily explained, then stopped short. What could she tell him? If she explained being hyperaware of him, she knew he'd mock her. 

Saber waved her words away. He didn't believe her. "Yeah, yeah, you don't gotta tell me. As it happens, I know the captain of a ship who happens to be departin' for Novis at noon. He owes me a favor, so I can get you on the ship for free. If you can get your affairs in order here, and be back by the docks by noon, we'll be good to go."

"Wait, where are you going?" she asked.

"Got a few things to tie up here myself. Not that it matters to you," he said, turning his back on her.

She watched him disappear, a feeling of loneliness overtaking her. There was one thing Genny missed the most, one thing she would never admit out loud. She secretly  _missed_ the days of the war. Unexpectedly reuniting with Saber only reminded her of the camaraderie they'd shared as a group. Though she regularly saw Celica, and sometimes Valbar and Leon, when she visited, and even still more rarely Atlas during times it got really rough, it wasn't the same. She missed Mae's and Boey's constant squabbling and she missed Jesse's constant attempts to flirt with any woman he came across.

It wasn't that the court in Zofia's castle was unkind to her. She'd gotten acquainted with Alm's noble friends. In particular, she enjoyed the company of his friends from Ram village when they came to visit. There was something to be said about their mannerisms that were ordinary. Even though they'd all married well above their social status, they still reminded her of the commonfolk, which ultimately made her feel more comfortable with them, than with those like Clive and Clair who couldn't disguise their nobility no matter how hard they tried.

Genny went back to the inn, to her room and began retrieving her belongings and packing them away. Perhaps seeing Saber was a good thing and when all was said and done, she couldn't imagine being in more capable hands. Even though Saber was dangerous, when she really got down to it, she knew he would never physically hurt her. She also knew he was a really good mercenary and that if she had to pick any one person to defend her, it would be Saber. 

She sighed to herself. She couldn't deny her attraction to him, that was for sure. But she knew she had to put it behind her. There was no way somebody like  _Saber_ who had attracted the eye of smarter, more beautiful women, would ever be into her. She'd once spotted Sonya give him an appreciative once over, when his back was turned toward her, cluck her tongue and mutter, "The things I'd do to that man." Sonya, Genny had decided long ago, had good taste in everything.

And besides, he  _had_ called her twelve, hadn't he? She shook her head to herself. There was  _no_ way she could act on her feelings. She bit her lip.

An hour to noon, she went down to the tavern, where the innkeeper served her lunch again on the house, and it was a delightful spread too. There was creamed spinach and then also ham, freshly caught lobster and herring all served in a bed of salad. "For saving that man's life. Dead bodies are never good for business, though if ye ask me, he kind of deserved it."

Genny eyed him. "Deserved getting his body poked through with a sword?"

The innkeeper nodded. "The man gets aggressive with the ladies when he's drunk. He was getting handsy with one of our lady servers when the other fella intervened. I didn't think he had a dagger on him though. A bit overkill if you ask me."

Genny had to agree. It wasn't like Saber to lose his patience that quickly or to overexert himself. She'd spent a lot of time watching Kamui, Saber and Jesse's styles of fighting and she'd found that while Saber was slower than the other two, he'd been more capable of taking hits and then lashing out once the enemy had their fill. That style of fighting certainly required some patience. She frowned to herself. Perhaps Saber had been having a bad day?

Thanking the innkeeper for the meal and conversation, Genny picked up her bags and departed. It was a fifteen minute walk to the docks, and once again, Genny enjoyed the fresh air the sea brought to her. As she neared the docks, she noticed Saber standing alone, his back to her. She picked up her pace, not wanting to keep him up for too long, but as she approached, she noticed his head was bent and there were... arms around his neck?

She squinted at him, trying to make sense of the scene and then stopped abruptly in her tracks, realizing what she was witnessing.

He was  _kissing_ somebody. As she stared more, she realized it must have been a very passionate kiss. His arms were around her waist, and he stood there for a long time, his frame blocking her view of the woman. 

 _Curses, what do I do now_ _?_ Genny thought to herself. She averted her eyes, not wanting to look like a Peeping Tom, but she couldn't deny the want that coursed through her. Though she'd tried hard to forget, she thought about the first and only time Saber put his lips on hers. 


	5. Flashback: Thirteen Minutes in King Lima's Chambers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback of Genny and Saber's first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's confused, this takes place three years ago. Genny was 18 and Saber 29. Their first kiss is... kind of dramatic (I felt like it had to be for Genny to keep dwelling on it) and so I thought it deserved its own chapter, before moving on.
> 
> As a reminder, even though Saber is canonically 3 years older than Valbar (34 to Valbar's 31), I've decided to keep Valbar's age at 31, making him the oldest of the group. This is mostly because, while I played the game, it always seemed like Valbar was the most mature (married with kids etc.)
> 
> This chapter is pretty long because I didn't want to cut it up into sections, but it takes place shortly after Leon, Kamui and Valbar join the gang. Leon acts like a teenager. Kamui discovers he might be bi here, which is kind of a play on Kamui's and Leon's support convo, haha.

In those days, all Genny knew was the ever present, looming fear that when she closed her eyes to sleep, she would never wake.

They spent plenty a night under the stars after docking in what was then Zofia. Before her adventures with Celica, Genny always thought her life was difficult compared to most. After all, she'd grown up in the priory, and the strongest memories she had of her mother was when the woman abandoned her at the Priory. Her mother's parting gift was the crest of the noble house of what Genny would later figure out several years later, after the war, a minor Rigelian noble house her father belonged to. As such, Genny realized, she must have been a bastard child, if her mother's bitterness on the subject was anything to go off of. Even back then, her mother had the personality that she somehow deserved better than what life had to offer. Her mother was flighty and stubborn and completely not like Boey's parents who, despite living in abject poverty and having more children than they could possibly care for comfortably, still loved them all unconditionally.

But now she realized how well off she had been at the Priory. She could bathe herself regularly, and there was shelter at the very least. Even if the Priory was modest and the Saints, Sages and Priestesses often liked to remind Genny that they weren't strictly family, there were hot meals provided three times a day. Most importantly, there was no threat that Terrors would kill her as she slept. And there was always a routine of waking up, attending her chores, lessons, and prayer.

Even though Mae and Boey were excited to step foot in Zofia, she knew they shared her fear of Terrors, particularly Boey. Though they tried to find villages to stay in, there were multiple times where they camped out under the stars. These nights where they had to camp in the woods, they spent most of the night awake, only getting a few hours of sleep. They told stories, played games and later on, once their party got bigger, asking each other questions about their lives. By then, they'd had Kamui, Leon and Valbar in their group. Atlas, Jesse, Sonya, nor the others had joined yet though by then, Genny would grow accustomed to spending the night out in the open and would fall asleep far more easily.

It was on this night, after one particularly rousing song sung by Kamui that Celica delighted in (She said she'd heard a song similar to it in a village, sung by a white-haired, surly boy when he thought he was alone), Mae suggested a game, her eyes darting to Boey surreptitiously. Mae's cheeks were red. She'd had half a jug of ale which Boey later said was a mistake. Aside from a sip of red wine at ceremonies to Mila, the Priory never offered much alcohol so Mae took full advantage of their travels.

"Let's play Truth or Dare."

An understanding of sorts overcame Celica's face, as though she understood why Mae had suggested it, though Genny could not imagine what the reason might be.

"I'd delight in that game," Leon said, his face wicked in the fire they'd created for warmth. They'd played Truth or Dare only once before at Leon's suggestion. All of his truths were about who had feelings for whom, and his dares all involved something sexual. In the last game, the game had stopped abruptly after he'd dared Saber to give Kamui a lap dance which Saber surprisingly did without much complaint, his face a complete, neutral mask, while Kamui's face got redder and redder at the display.

"Let's not," Celica said gently, with a soft laugh. "I'm too much of a coward to play the game." Everyone gave her a skeptical look; Coward did not begin to describe Celica at all, but nobody chose to argue with her. Even though their new partners didn't know of Celica's royal blood, that she was the one true heir to the Zofian crown, there was still something regal about her that made everyone obey her.

Mae, one of the only people who could argue with Celica pouted. "Aw, you're no fun, Cel!"

Valbar stretched his stout frame and yawned. "Probably for the best, anyway, especially with what happened last time."

Saber flashed a pirate smile at Valbar that sent a shiver down Genny's spine even though it wasn't directed at her. At the time, she still didn't know what to make of Saber. He hadn't deserted their party yet, but she hadn't fully trusted him yet. "You didn't like the show?"

Valbar shot him a toothy grin of his own. "I was almost expecting a little more."

Leon looked a little jealous at this exchange. Most of his red eyeliner was, at this point in the night, wiped off, making his eyes look less catlike and lazy. Somehow, without the eyeliner he looked more vulnerable and even more naturally effeminate if that were possible. He cleared his throat. "What about this then? It's like Truth or Dare, but with a twist."

Kamui, Valbar, and Celica looked wary at this suggestion but Valbar and Celica seemed too polite to say anything to contradict it.

On the other hand Kamui muttered, "I don't like the sound of this."

Leon glared at him, but without the red eyeliner, it didn't look as intimidating. "You don't have to participate if you don't want to, Kamui," he said, in a lofty voice.

"I'm almost afraid to ask what the twist is," Boey said, a slight hint of worry on his face as well. Because Genny knew him well, she could see it. Otherwise, he was acting brave. Boey always acted like he was older than he actually was. Sometimes, Genny privately felt he  _was_ older than Mae, even though Mae was older than him by a year. It was only when they faced Terrors that Boey ever looked young.

Leon winked. "We write our names on slips of paper, writing either Truth or Dare on them. Then, we pick them out randomly in pairs. Before we pick them out, we have to state a Dare for the pair to do together and we have to decide on it as a group. But if it's Truth, then the person has to confess something  _very_ personal toward their partner."

"That just sounds like a more complicated version of Truth or Dare," Kamui complained.

"Well, like I said, you don't have to participate if you don't want to." Leon and Kamui were constantly at each other's throats. Genny wondered how Valbar put up with either of them.

"Well, Celica? What d'you think?" Mae asked, her eyes shining with excitement.

Celica shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "It matters not to me. It might be a good idea to pass the time, I suppose." She still looked uncertain even as she said it.

"Wonderful. Then it's decided," Leon said, clapping his hands.

A silence fell over the group, as everyone bustled to find scraps of paper to write their names down. Sighing in resignation, Kamui also participated.

Pursing her lips, Genny wrote her name then, after a moment's hesitation, wrote  _Truth_. She wasn't in the mood to do any embarrassing dares. Correction: She was  _never_ in the mood to do any embarrassing dares.

When they were ready, they folded the slips of paper and put them in Valbar's helm, who had offered it up.

"Now," Leon said, black eyes glittering with malice. "What shall we pick for the first dare?"

"Sing a duet?" Valbar suggested.

"Booring," Mae yawned. "I vote a battle between the two. Like a wrestling match. The victor gets to declare the next dare on their own, without the approval of the group."

And since nobody could think of something better, everyone agreed with Mae's suggestion. Valbar reached into his helmet helmet, and there was a rustle of papers that went along with the crackling flames of the fire. He drew out two slips of paper. "The first is... Kamui and the second is... Leon."

At the same time Leon and Kamui groaned.

Because both of them had written "Dare" on their scraps, there was no need for any secrets spilled. They simply faced each other. Genny couldn't help but think this was an unfair fight for although Leon was extremely adept with the bow and often hit their enemies with impressive acuity, he hardly had any of the durability that Kamui, a mercenary, possessed. 

Kamui seemed to be thinking along the same lines. He stood up, cracking his knuckles and neck, a slight smile on his face. "Well, pretty boy?" 

Leon looked annoyed, but surprisingly didn't choose to comment. He stood as well, pushing his sleeves back. There was some muscle definition there, which Genny supposed came from the amount of times he practiced with a bow. They watched as he pulled his hair into a ponytail. "I'll make you eat those words."

They circled each other, arms raised. It looked a little comical, but Genny didn't say so aloud, for fear of breaking the tension. Even Boey, who always looked slightly worried at the thought that Terrors might be nearby, looked focused on the match. 

Leon was the first to lunge ahead, which meant Kamui must be victorious one, Genny thought. She wasn't much an expert on fighting strategy, but she'd heard the classic line about those who struck first often ended up losing. And sure enough, Kamui tackled Leon to the floor and had his arms pinned down above his head. He grinned in triumph, straddling atop him.

Leon struggled a little at first, but then stopped abruptly, staring at Kamui. Genny had no idea what was happening, what must've caused this sudden interruption, and she could see the others confused as well.

Kamui automatically let go of Leon's hands, his face reddening. Leon smirked. "Didn't think  _I_ was your type, dear."

Kamui was at a loss for words for the first time, and taking advantage of that, Leon managed to slip out from underneath Kamui. What happened next happened a little too fast for Genny to follow, but somehow Leon had grabbed Kamui's arms and pushed the mercenary to the ground, so that Kamui was lying on his chest and Leon was sitting on his back, firmly holding his hands behind his back.

He'd had him pinned. Leon bent down, his hair almost fully escaped from his ponytail and grazing against Kamui's cheek as he purred, "Now, who's a pretty boy?" 

Kamui's face, already red from embarrassment, turned even redder. "I yield."

Valbar laughed. "Nice one, Leon! My vote was always on you."

Leon looked entirely too pleased with himself. He looked at Valbar and offered a sly smile. "I aim to please." And with a flourished whirl, he got up and took a bow to Saber, Celica, Mae and Boey who were all applauding at the spectacle. Even Genny was impressed. The best endings, she reasoned, were the ones that were unexpected.

After several minutes, Kamui rose to his knees, his face a little less red. He was looking at anywhere but Leon. There was an embarrassed little smile on his face as he sat down, and when he thought no one was looking, he stole a look at Leon, his expression ultimately dazed and confused.

Valbar handed Leon his helmet. "Your prize."

He'd already decided on a dare. "Well, no matter who the next people are, I hope they're prepared to play "Thirteen Minutes in King Lima's Chambers".

"We all ain't teenagers here," Saber groaned, though Genny and Boey technically were. Genny had never heard of the game, and looking at Boey and Mae, she could tell they hadn't either.

She stole a look at Celica, trying to get a hint at what this game might be, but Celica looked pink in the face. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked.

"The rules were that I got to decide alone. Besides, it's not like they  _have_ to make out or anything. Just spend 13 minutes in a secluded area and come out with their clothes a little mussed."

Celica looked like she wanted to argue a little, but all she did was merely cross her arms. Leon reached into the helmet, snatching up a piece of paper immediately. He squinted at the names. "Who is Genny?" he asked, pronouncing her name with a hard 'G'.

Genny flushed and raised a shy hand.

Instead of looking embarrassed for not knowing her name, Leon looked genuinely surprised, as if this were the first time he'd seen her. Genny wasn't surprised. Leon didn't seem to pay particular attention to women, unless it was Celica, and even then, he only paid attention to her when he had to. Mae had tried to chat him up when he first joined, something Boey in particular found very annoying and often complained about to Genny. But when it became clear that he had no fondness for women, Mae had backed off (Much to the relief of Boey).

"You could show our healer a little bit of respect," Mae said now, pointedly.

Leon looked a little flustered at her chastising. "Oh, right," he said. "I did think it a bit weird that I somehow felt better when I was moments away from death."

Mae looked like she wanted to argue more, but Boey put a hand on her arm, dissuading her from getting into an argument. To move on from the topic, he picked out the next name.

"Valbar."

It was hard to see who was more embarrassed by this pairing; Genny or Valbar. Especially since she still didn't even know what exactly was Thirteen Minutes in Lima's Chambers was. 

"Um, sorry, but I don't know what exactly Thirteen Minutes in Lima's Chambers is," Genny said, her voice as meek as possibly it could go.

Celica looked stricken. "It's okay, Genny, you don't have to do this."

Leon looked like a mix between relieved and delighted. "Oh come on, Valbar. Spending thirteen minutes with the youngest, most able-bodied girl in our midst. Isn't that enough to-"

"Shut up, Leon," Valbar said in a voice quite uncharacteristic of his mild-mannered nature and Leon actually looked cowed enough into silence. He turned toward Genny and held out his hand. "Let's take a walk shall we?"

His small, brown eyes were so filled with warmth that if Genny felt any kind of trepidation at all before, now she didn't. She took his hand and followed Valbar into the woods. There was a silence between them and crickets chirping. An owl let out a haunting hoot and twigs snapped under their feet as they walked away from the campsite.

"So, uh, what  _is_ Thirteen Minutes in Lima's Chambers?"

Valbar let out a surprised chuckle. "Just a dumb game kids in Zofia play in order to figure out who they like. Surprised you youngsters haven't heard of it. It's actually how I met my wife." Here, he went misty-eyed as he often did when he brought up his deceased family which was often.

Genny waited for a few respectful seconds before she asked, "So what happens?"

Valbar shrugged. "You sit in a circle usually and somebody spins a bottle. Whoever the bottle points to is who the person has to go into a closet with and spend thirteen minutes with them alone. You can do whatever you want, but typically when you come out you have to look like you did... er... stuff. Romp around. Look like your hair and clothes are messed up."

Oh. So  _that's_ why Celica had looked so uncomfortable. 

"But don't worry about me," Valbar said quickly. "I wouldn't do anything to you. I'm not interested, really. That time's passed for me. We're just going to go for a nice little stroll."

"I wasn't worried," Genny said, and she meant it. Of the four men they'd encountered thus far, Valbar seemed the nicest, most trustworthy. "I guess I should tell you something personal about me, then," she said after a moment had passed, "Since I wrote truth on my paper. The truth is, I've never  _really_ been kissed. Or been in a relationship or anything like that. So I guess it's good I got you."

Valbar laughed. "How old are you? Thirteen?"

"Eighteen!" She but she knew she looked really young for her age. It was a source of consternation for her.

Valbar raised an eyebrow. "Really? Well, you're still really young, you know. You have your whole life ahead of you. I didn't get my first kiss 'til I was nineteen and I still thought that was too old."

"I find that a little hard to believe." Valbar looked very manly. It was hard to see how girls had passed him up in school. He had the kind of heroically square jaw with a cleft in the middle that most girls would swoon over. If he hadn't been married and still hung up over his wife, Genny thought, she might've had a crush on him herself.

She looked up at him, for he'd gone uncharacteristically quiet. "What is it?"

He shook his head, putting a finger to his lips. It was very dark, since they'd left their campsite, but she could still see the apprehensiveness in his dark eyes, illuminated by the moon.

And then she heard it too. A single snarl, almost soundless in its delivery. 

A Terror.

And as she watched Valbar's eyes, she could see fire reflected in them. It had to be a Bonewalker behind her. She didn't have much experience with them, except that they were notoriously evasive and were hard to kill unless you used magic. All Genny knew at that point was Nosferatu and though her magical attack was potent enough, she wasn't sure she could kill a Bonewalker on her own.

"I know you want to," Valbar said quietly, watching her back. "But don't scream. It's possible it hasn't seen us yet."

Genny began to nod, but she'd scarcely finished, when Bonewalker let out a hideous howl that ripped through the forest in its loudness. Genny was sure the others had heard it back at the camp and she began to panic. She turned around, in the opposite direction of where the howl had come from.

"Genny, wait!"

She heard Valbar's shout, but she couldn't stop her feet from moving. She ran, because that's all she knew. Since she started this journey, she'd had the luxury of not having to fight. Saber, Celica, Mae and Boey all protected her with their magic. They all looked out for her so she could keep healing them. She'd never even killed a Terror, though there had been times when she had sapped them of their strength. 

All she could think of was safety which was back at the campsite. Half a minute later of running, she stopped to catch her breath and realized she still couldn't see the campsite. A wolf howled in the distance, and she heard twigs snapping from a far distance, but she couldn't tell from where. Was she lost?

She thought of Valbar, a sinking feeling coming over her stomach. She'd left him behind in the woods. If it was one Bonewalker, she knew he could fight his way out. He was built to endure even without his armor. But she wasn't sure if it was just one Bonewalker. If it was a whole horde, they would crush him. She  _had_ to go back. She was the only healer after all.

She cursed herself for being so stupid as to separate herself from him. "Valbar?" she called out softly.

But there was no response. She could hear her own heartbeat quickening at the silence.

Then, quite unexpectedly, she heard a loud growl very close to her, about ten paces behind her and she shrieked. Knowing she was about to get even more lost, she ran as far away from the growl as possible. She heard the Bonewalker follow her, its bony feet dragging against the dead leaves and twigs. She turned her head to see where the Bonewalker was, and saw its ghoulish, fiery eyes about fifty paces from her, throwing harsh relief against its skeletal, dead face. It wasn't particularly fast, but it didn't matter. If she could still see it, it was still too close to her. She needed to increase her distance and put on a spurt of speed-

And then somebody caught her around the waist. She struggled viciously, and whoever had caught her was caught unawares. They both went tumbling down, Genny's back hitting a soft bed of leaves. She scarcely had time to register this as not even a second later she was crushed by the person who had caught her. She felt her breath leave her and she gasped in air, preparing to scream again. Bonewalkers were one thing, but common thieves and robbers were quite another. The person dragged her until one side of them was hidden by a fallen log.

A rough, calloused hand clapped down on her mouth. "Shut up, girl! You're going to get us killed," Saber hissed.

Genny's eyes flew open. The pale moonlight made it difficult to see, so she had to wait for her eyes to adjust, but sure enough, she realized it was indeed Saber. A sense of relief flooded her and she went limp underneath him. 

She wouldn't have picked Saber to find her. Ideally, it would have been Valbar or one of mage friends. But she'd take any familiar face. She tried to speak, but his hand was still clamped down on her mouth. When he realized this, he quickly removed it, propping himself up on his elbows so he could take a better look at her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she managed, her voice unusually high. "Where is everyone?"

"Bonewalkers destroyed our camp. I went to take a piss and when I came back, I saw a whole horde of 'em goin' through our stuff." He muttered a quiet curse, as he looked away from her, trying to see if anyone was coming. "No one was there though, I'm bettin' they all got away. I went to go look for 'em." He glanced at her as if he'd suddenly thought about something. "Where's Valbar?"

Genny felt herself grow hot. "We... got separated," she said evasively. She tried to wriggle out from underneath him, but he wasn't having it.

"Awfully sorry about this, but I can hear at least two Bonewalkers walking about and I don't got a sword on me. I'd rather sit this one out."

She tried to calm herself down and nodded, and they grew silent, listening to the rustling of the Bonewalkers, their bony footsteps crunching against the dead leaves. At one point, when the footsteps got nearer, Saber hunkered lower until their chests were tightly pressed against each other, their hips flush against each other. His nose was in her hair and she could feel him breathe her in. She hadn't washed her hair in two days. She hoped he wouldn't pick up on that.

For his part, he smelled like sweat, leather, and steel and she could see that his neck was damp. She reached up without thinking and slid the tips of her fingers against the planes of his neck, wiping away at it. His skin was surprisingly smooth here. Upward, he'd been beginning to grow a five o'clock shadow and she could feel the coarse hair just beginning to to peek out around his jaw. He stiffened against her touch, and she watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

"What are you doing?" he whispered into her hair.

And just like that she realized how uncharacteristic it was for her to do that. She drew her fingers away. "You were sweating, so I just thought..." she trailed off, noting how stupid she sounded. How warm and hard he felt against her. And even though the Bonewalkers were somewhere out there, she didn't mind the close proximity with Saber. She might have even... wanted it. It all felt very pleasant, she thought. His breath tickling her hair, the warmth of it trickling to her ear. 

"Do you think we'll die tonight?" she asked.

Saber gave a low chuckle, and she could see the edge of his mouth curve. "Would be a shame for me, but I guess I wouldn't mind goin'. I've done so many things already."

Of course he would. He had to be thirty, or close to it. People at thirty lived almost half their life already, depending on how you looked at it. Saber looked like he'd seen and been in many fights. He had the look of an experienced man who'd had knowledge he'd amassed from all his travels.

She thought about her's and Valbar's conversation. "And I've never even kissed anyone," she said softly, more to herself. She couldn't help the self-pity but it would be a shame to die here. She imagined what her gravestone would say:

_Here Lies Genny_

_Not Particularly the Adventurous Sort, But Still Got Killed by a Terror_

_Survived by No One_

_Still Never Been Kissed_

Except by Boey, if you'd counted that time he'd simply pressed his lips against Genny's. More like mashed it once against hers and that was all.

"So I take it, you didn't take advantage of those thirteen minutes?" Saber said, breaking into her thoughts, and reminding her that he had ears and had used them to hear her.

"No!" Genny squeaked a little too loudly and the Bonewalkers stopped in their tracks. She felt Saber tense against her, his face pressing against her hair. She could hear his heartbeat quicken as they waited for the Bonewalkers to move about again. When they eventually did, he let out a breath and she continued, "Valbar wouldn't."

"I suppose not, Valbar  _is_ old, so you wouldn't have made a move."

Genny winced. "It's got nothing to do with age." Which was partially a lie. As the youngest, it absolutely had something to do with age, and if she had to be honest, she'd always been attracted to older men. Leon was far too young for her, and under certain circumstances, Kamui was too even with his young-ish face and sometimes immature attitude on life, though he claimed to be twenty-eight. But Valbar was different. He had dignity.

"Shame though. Kissing's proof the Gods weren't all cruel, when done right."

She bit her lip. "So, you've kissed before." That was a stupid statement. Of course he had.

His half-smile turned into a close-lipped grin as he finally turned his gaze from watching the Bonewalkers, to regard her, his eye looking amused. "Countless times and more, to plenty a lady. Why? Interested?"

"No." Genny protested, the way a person would to somebody if they had unwittingly guessed their most private thoughts. "I mean..." She was confused. He smelled so good, and looked so good and-

What was wrong with her? There were Bonewalkers milling about and she wanted him to kiss her? Was this the effect that attraction had on a person? To make them think about things like... like  _kissing_? While they were in imminent danger?

Perhaps it was the danger that made her like this. And the fact that his body, so warm and big against her own tiny frame, somehow felt  _right_.

"Yes," she said, so quickly, as if afraid that if she thought about it more, she might lose her nerve. "I'm interested."

Saber looked nonplussed, so she went on, "Kiss me."

For a long time, he just stared at her, uncomprehendingly. Under normal circumstances, Genny might have wanted the earth to swallow her, the way he was looking at her. He looked at her like she was crazy and somewhere, in the back of her mind, the more rational part, she thought he could be right. She was saying this to a man she barely knew. She couldn't even say she was drunk on alcohol. 

He was still staring at her and she suddenly had the crippling thought that maybe he didn't want to. That he was trying to figure out how best to let her down gently, that she wasn't his type (Of  _course_ she wasn't his type. She wasn't sure she was anybody's type, really, but especially not his), that it wasn't her, it was all him, and more condescending lines that were designed to make her feel better.

She let out a short, breathy laugh, to try to dispel some of the shame she felt closing in on her throat. "Yeah," she said, looking around him, at the stars. There were a lot in this neck of the woods, which meant they must be far away from a village. She really  _did_ wish the earth would swallow her up now. This kind of pain that coursed through her was humiliating, especially since he was so close that she could feel his breath. "That was kind of-" and she was going to say stupid, but his hand cupped her chin, turning her head slightly. Her eyes snapped back to his, but it was too late to read what he felt because the next thing she knew his mouth was on hers, his other hand entwined in her hair. Her brain caught up several seconds later.

He was  _kissing_ her.

And not just a taciturn, dry, one, but many open mouthed kisses. his His fingers, currently running over her jawline and hair, so rough from handling swords and daggers, were a stark contrast to the way his lips felt against hers. They were soft, slightly damp, and warm and he was absolutely right. Kissing  _was_ proof the gods weren't cruel, at least the way he was kissing her. She reached up, cradling his cheek and she wound the other arm around his waist, pulling him to her even though he was already against her. She moved her mouth against his. It didn't take her long to respond in the same kind of rhythm he set for her and soon she could match him, when his kisses were light and feathery, or when they went deeper and and heavier, or when he set a faster pace. It was all enthralling and she wasn't sure how long they remained like that. 

"Genny?" she heard Mae call out from a distance and she groaned against Saber's lips. In turn his teeth grazed her lower lip, biting down on it gently, before kissing her again but this time there was less vigor, and his mouth was less open.

Eventually, all things must come to an end. Saber slowed down, eventually pulling away from her, but not before pressing his lips to her forehead once. He rolled away from her, and they looked at the stars for a moment.

"How was it?"

"It was... okay," she said, so as not to appear overeager.

That was the sort of answer she'd heard the women at the Priory say about their first kisses. That first kisses were often sloppy and unenjoyable and often took practice. From what Genny had gathered, they were not like in the stories. They were never that good, she'd been told, and she didn't have much else to go off on. Though Celica had admitted she'd been kissed at an early age, she hadn't ventured any further detail, so none of them ever knew if it was a good or bad kiss. Mae had hated her first kiss which was from a fisherman's son visiting from Archanea. She complained he hadn't known what he was doing and ended up drooling all over her mouth.

But if Genny had to describe these kisses she'd just gotten from Saber, she'd say they were... magical. She found herself wanting more, which was a surprise. She'd felt herself grow hot and there was a sense of urgency growing in the pit of her lower abdomen, and there was some part of her that wanted to wrap her legs around his waist and grind herself against him and ride it out, to see where it took her. If she'd lost her head completely, she might have actually done it. But there was still some part of her that was shy around Saber.

He turned on his side to look at her. "Really? Just okay?" he said, frowning. "That was some of my best work, you know. Wanted to make it special."

She turned on her side too, bringing her fingers up to her lips. They were swollen and she smiled at him. She couldn't help it. It really  _was_ incredible, how he'd made her feel. 

"You're yankin' my leg, aren't you?" he said, a slow, genuine smile spreading across his features too. He looked so handsome smiling like this. It reached his eyes and he looked, for the first time to Genny, somebody she could be comfortable with, perhaps spend the rest of her life with? She opened her mouth, perhaps to tell him to smile like that more often, but then-

"Saber!" Boey called out, and he was a lot closer than Mae had been.

Saber closed his eyes, got up, in one fluid motion and yelled back, "I'm here! I got the girl with me."

And just like that, whatever magic had existed between them, for it  _had_ to be magic, disappeared quicker than it came.

The girl. Right. That was her. She stumbled to get up too, swaying a bit unsteadily. She smoothed her hair down and brushed leaves off her dress. She could only imagine how flustered she looked.

"Is Genny with you?" Boey called out.

"Er, right, that's the one," Saber said in his usual rough voice, and Genny, whose head had been in the clouds just seconds ago suddenly slammed back to reality.

Saber didn't even  _know_ who she was. Had he even said her name before? She couldn't think of a time when he did. He hadn't even regarded her when they'd first met.

Here she had been thinking of growing old with this man when all he'd done was kiss her. Doubtless he did this many times before to many women. You didn't become an amazing kisser just by kissing one or two women. How many other women had he done this to, and was she just another one to him? It wouldn't be until she met Jesse a few months later that it would make sense to her. That Saber was a womanizer and tales of his exploits with women in particular went around...

She felt quite the fool.

Even after Mae and Boey scolded her for running off like that and worrying them all, and Celica reassured her that nobody, least of all Valbar, was hurt and that she was glad everyone was safe. She knew she should be relieved. Everyone was miraculously alive and the Bonewalkers had been defeated, praise Mila. It could have gone so much worse. Except, she already felt worse.

By the time they found everyone and got back to camp, the earliest of the morning birds began to chirp and all of them groaned, knowing they'd have to pack up and that they wouldn't have time to get any sleep.

By this time, Genny had mostly gotten over what she considered to be a betrayal, though it didn't sting any less terribly. Could she hardly blame Saber? She'd shamelessly asked him to kiss her. It wasn't his fault she'd liked it so much that she thought... well what did she think? That it meant they were automatically in a relationship and in six months time he'd propose to her, and they'd have children, and everything would be back to normal?

She stole a glance at him. He was bent over at the hips, collecting what was left of their provisions. There was a strip of dried meat dangling from his mouth which he was chewing at, the strip slowly retreating into his mouth. He didn't look the least bit ruffled from their little tryst, but he had looked a little pale, a fact she probably attributed from lack of sleep and the Bonewalkers. He probably wasn't thinking about her.

It wasn't fair.

"You okay?" Boey asked, watching her.

Genny shrugged, finally tearing her eyes away from him. "I don't know," she said, truthfully. "But it doesn't matter. I just have to get used to it."

Boey sighed. "Yeah, no matter how many times it happens, dealing with Terrors never gets old does it?"

She nodded.

But she did get used to it. Neither Saber nor Genny ever mentioned that night. It took her great pains, but she'd nestled that memory into a secret part of her mind, choosing to only bring it out when she felt it safe, replaying parts of it in her memory, but only parts. Like the way his lips felt against her forehead, or how his breath felt against her neck when he let out a low laugh.

Throughout the rest of their adventures, their relationship was cordial at best, practically nonexistent at worst. Genny never made it a point to confront him. How could she? She was just the healer.

A wallflower at best.

And he owed her nothing.

 

 


	6. All Aboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to present day! Hope you guys enjoyed the flashback :)

Genny's first instinct was to double back, give Saber some privacy. It was obvious that he wanted some privacy with this woman.

Even if he was making out with her in a public area.

In broad daylight.

She crouched behind some barrels, considering her options. Oh Gods, why was it that she'd found herself in an awkward position whenever it involved Saber? Doubtless, some of the times she'd done it to herself. Like when she'd ordered him to kiss her. And... well, that was it really. There'd been a few times afterward where, if he was nearer to her, she became less surefooted, more clumsy and she was sure he noticed, but other than that, there was nothing else between their interactions.

She tried to weigh her options.

If this were a harlequin romance, which Genny delighted in reading ever since she left the Priory, she'd be a plucky heroine, an educated but poor governess to the nephew of Duke Saber, whose sister had died. And she'd be on the run for some great, secretive reason, one that only Duke Saber could help her with, except he kept holding her up, chatting to ladies in an effort to get _her_ jealous. If she were the heroine, she'd have the courage to walk by Saber. She might even tap her heel against the boardwalk, arms crossed, impatiently waiting for Saber to finish up. He'd get angry at her, and their passions would culminate in ripped open corsets and hurriedly unlaced boots.

Well, if Genny was wearing a corset and boots that laced up. Right now, she only wore her usual long, unshapely dress with long socks and slippers. It didn't exactly fit the narrative Genny had pictured. She couldn't see herself as a plucky heroine either. 

Despondently, she pushed her bangs out of her eyes, and chanced another glance at Saber, wondering if he were finished. He was, though his hands still lingered at the small of her waist. By now, she could see the girl and she vaguely recognized one of the serving maids at the tavern, a petite woman with black hair and a pretty, heart-shaped face. She was looking at Saber in a longing kind of way.

It was the kind of look Genny imagined she'd given Saber years ago at the campsite when she'd first realized he wasn't in love with her, but seeing it on somebody else's face was, well, odd to say the least. And it somehow gave her a little bit of courage, that she wasn't the only girl who had given that same longing look.

Genny straightened herself. There was only one ship on the docks that looked like it could carry passengers. That had to be the ship Saber was talking about. She could just board on her own. She didn't  _have_ to board with Saber. Wasn't that the plan originally, before they'd chanced upon each other?

Things would be so much less  _complicated_. Making sure Saber's back was toward her, she walked at an angle, giving him a wide berth of space so he couldn't see her. She pulled her hair and smoothed it around her face so if he  _were_ to turn, he wouldn't be able to see her either. 

The other boarding ramp was a few dozen feet away from him, if she could just sneak on board-

"Excuse me, Miss, do you have a ticket or payment?"

Genny paused. Crap. Of course there'd be a crewman at the ramp. A big, bulky one too, with a bald head, one gold hoop at his nostril, and eyes that could cut into your soul. "Um, how much is the fare?"

"A hundred silver marks."

Genny blanched. She didn't have that kind of money! Well, she did, back at the castle. Helping the current Queen and King of Valentia, as it turned out, by saving the Queen from certain death multiple times paid handsomely, even if the bulk of the royal coffers had been depleted for the restoration and unification of the countries. And she  _had_ brought a purse of a hundred silver marks, but she'd already used thirty marks spending nights in two other inns and buying food. She was still thirty marks short for fare.

What kind of a ship was this that it cost a hundred silver marks? A typical journey to Novis only took about two and a half days.

"I don't have that kind of money," she squeaked. 

He gave her a look, which made her feel small. "Then what business do you have on this ramp?"

"She's with me," she heard a rough voice call out, making her flinch.  _Saber_.From her peripheral vision, she could see he hadn't bothered to turn around. How had he noticed her?

"You never said anything about a passenger, a  _female_ one at that."

This made him turn. Saber was smiling, but his expression suggested otherwise. "Didn't know it made a difference considering what you owe me." His voice was flat, and Genny couldn't help but wonder what exactly Saber had done to get a favor that amounted to two-hundred silver marks. 

The crewman looked nervous. "Right," he said, licking his lips nervously. He cast a nervous glance back at the ship. "It's just, she's a  _girl_. The last time you were on board with a lady-"

"This one's different."

 _The last time?_ There was a last time? Now it was Genny's turn to look at Saber, in what might have been an accusatory glare, though she certainly wasn't trying to be accusatory.

Saber ignored her glare. His hands were still on the woman's waist and she'd heard everything, and she didn't bother masking her own accusatory look.

"Another woman?" she asked pointedly. Her arms unwound from his neck.

"Aw, Helen, don't be like that," he softly, drawled. "That woman-"

But the woman-Helen-was shoving him away from her and Genny couldn't help but cheer her on. Even if, as she reminded herself yet again, she would not be personally involved.

She crossed her arms. "Yes, I'd  _love_ to hear the story of how you regularly bring women on your little adventures yet you won't bring  _me_ along." 

"I don't  _regularly_ -"

"Then who is she?" Helen asked chucking her chin at Genny. "I didn't know you liked them  _that_ young." She gave a wild and unkind little laugh.

"I'm not  _that_ young!" Genny protested. "I'm twenty-one!"

"You're not helping, girl," Saber groaned. "Go wait on the ship."

"Er, but-" the bald crewman said, no longer looking as imposing to Genny as he did once.

"She's boarding the ship," Saber repeated, his voice hard, a note of finality in his voice that even made Helen flinch even if it wasn't directed at her.

The crewman didn't say anything, but he did part to let Genny through. She couldn't help but shoot him an apologetic look, even if he  _had_ acted like a complete ass to her. 

The ship was big and spacious she discovered, which was maybe why it typically cost her one-hundred silver marks. There were two floors below the deck, one of which were filled with rooms. The floor also had rooms, but she could see that most of them were reserved for crewmen, and then there was also the kitchens and the mess hall which was to be shared by guests and crewmen alike. Above, on the deck was where the Captain's room was, but she didn't dare venture in. And on the other end of the deck, toward the back of the ship was a storage area.

She breathed in the sea salt air and allowed the gentle breeze to play with her curls. She imagined herself as a damsel on a pirate ship and tried to parse out the story. A dashing, roguish pirate and a woman of faith on the run from her restrictive life. The pirate was of course, of royal blood. He just didn't know it. Yet. But he'd find out soon enough. The key would be a locket given to him by a long-lost sister who was trying her hardest to find him while also rid herself of the current pirate problem she had...

"See somethin' you like?" Saber called out and it took Genny a moment to realize she'd been staring at him. Or rather, he'd walked into her line of vision while she was spacing out. It looked like he'd been standing there awhile, that he'd been looking at her while she'd been daydreaming. She flushed in self-consciousness.

Mila. She hadn't realized that she'd been staring at him. "Maybe," she responded in what she hoped was a casual, cool tone. "Maybe not." Then she noticed the woman-Helen-was gone and when she squinted she could see what looked like a red handprint on Saber's left cheek. 

"Er, I take it your paramour won't be joining us?"

He rubbed at his cheek. "She's  _not_ my paramour. She's just a woman who wanted to thank me for saving her in a very... zealous way." He wasn't looking at her as he smiled, and Genny felt a sudden rash of jealousy course through her insides, surprising even her.

"Right," Genny said, and hated the way she sounded like a petulant child. "I forgot how many women seem to drop at your feet."

He leaned against the railing of the ship, resting his forearms on the ledge as he regarded her, his fond smile turning into a smirk. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're a little jealous."

She rolled her eyes. "Hardly," she scoffed, but it was a little too forced and his smirk widened. She hated that it did, that he could even guess that she'd had a crush on him. "I just think it evil of you to play at the hearts of many women, trading one for the next, treating them as if they're all exchangeable."

His smirk vanished and she felt triumphant. "And what would you know about that?" he demanded. "Passin' off judgment as if you know my whole life."

"I don't know all of it, but I've heard the tales and seen it happen," she seethed, taking her hands off the ledge and crossing her arms as she regarded him.  _And I've felt it too!_

"Seen what happen?" he asked, and his voice sounded dangerous. He was no longer leaning against the ledge, but toward Genny, and the way he towered over her, his eye boring into hers... it was the kind of danger that warned Genny to back off, to apologize for being so heated, but she was beyond that.

If only she had some sense of mind to stop.

"The fact that you brought a woman on this ship before, and now me, while you were in bed with another woman!" she wouldn't mention  _that_ kiss, though she was sure that was what really bothered her, those feelings of feeling so wholly ignored and inadequate and unwanted.

He let out a harsh bark of laughter that was unkind. "You think to put yourself in the same lot as Helen? That I'd consider  _bedding_ you?" 

Now _that_ stung. "Stop." She didn't need another reminder after all that Saber couldn't possibly consider anything more than a child. She wanted to bite back that she wasn't just a child, but why should she convince him of anything? "Where is my room?" she asked stiffly, not trusting herself to say any more. She could feel the tears rushing up, but would be damned if she let him see her tears. She needed a place of privacy to calm down, collect her thoughts. She couldn't do it in front of the man who had just insulted her womanhood.

"It's not yours," he said, clearing his throat, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

She rolled her eyes. Was now really a time to correct her on really pedantic things? "Obviously it's not  _mine_ since I didn't pay for-"

"It's  _ours_."


	7. Day 1

The ship, which had seemed so gigantic to Genny, now seemed very small. Tiny, even. 

It was bad enough that she had to be escorted by Saber to the ship, especially after  _that_ fight where he basically admitted he'd never thought of her as a woman. But they had to  _share_ a room?

She swallowed her tears of frustration as he led her downstairs to show her the room. It was all the way at the end, and when he unlocked the door and pushed it open, her spirits went down even more. This  _had_ to be a joke.

The room itself was tiny. There was a porthole that looked out underwater, a door at the foot of the bed that when Genny opened it led to a small bathroom with no bath, and a small space where she put her luggage in, save for a book which she tucked under her arm.

That was it. There was barely any room to even sleep on the floor. There was just the bed. Which meant...

Genny felt her cheeks grow hot. How could she be expected to  _share_ a bed with Saber? Who had just scoffed at the thought about bedding her? 

Well, on the other hand, perhaps she'd be keeping her chastity a little longer since he didn't think of her as one. But that was really more a curse. Genny wanted to get rid of the blasted thing for awhile, especially since everyone she knew had lost their virginities. It was discouraging being the youngest, but even moreso when she realized that most of the friends she'd made through her travels were either already vastly experienced with romance and sex, or ended up paired off with other friends, or married above their station. It was frustrating that she'd hardly had any of her own experiences.

That wasn't to say that she  _hadn't_  stayed entirely chaste throughout these past three years. Celica had tried to pair her up with various men, mostly of noble birth, and they'd been nice enough but it was hard to date, especially after the war. These lords had proper etiquette and had often stared in disdain when she used the wrong fork or forgot to address them with their proper title. The ones who had found it charming that she scarcely knew the rules of etiquette were no better. They regarded her as an object of curiosity and many clamored to romance her in order to curry favor with Alm and Celica.

Which was all well and fine. She knew at least a few of Alm's friends who didn't seem to care being used. In particular, she knew of a boy, Tobin, who was in a relationship with a Zofian lady, very rich and beautiful. It was clearly obvious to Genny that the lady was using Tobin to curry favor with Alm, but Tobin didn't seem to mind especially since, as he put it later, he was using her as well to bolster his own riches  _and_ she was far more beautiful than another lady he'd had his eye on.

She simply couldn't fault these lords for wanting to court her to get ahead, but was it so wrong to not feel used? To have a man love her for who she was? Cherish her and care for her and possibly ravish her because they thought she was attractive and not because they felt they owed a favor to Celica and Alm?

It became too tiresome to sort these feelings out and to try to suss out who wasn't simply using her. She had told Celica not to try to set her up and Celica looked at her with pitying eyes which bothered Genny. She didn't want Celica to worry about her, not when she had a whole country to run as Princess Anthiese. And so, from time to time, she'd accepted dates, even entertained a few physical trysts with a few of the blond-haired, blue-eyed nobles that she'd deemed attractive. But she was never serious about any of them, and it became easier to separate her feelings with these men. She thought she could have learned her lesson with Saber, gotten over him perhaps. It had been three years, after all.

But she was wrong. He was somehow different. His very presence rankled her, and she found it frustrating that he hadn't thought the same toward her.

"It's a bit small," she said aloud.

"Sorry it ain't what you're used to," Saber groused, not looking at her. He was peering through the porthole, through the murky water. "None of those fancy rooms in those fancy castles that you're probably used to."

He still sounded sour from their previous argument though to be fair, Genny was smarting as well. She looked at her fingers, bitten to the quick, and swallowed her anger. She bit back telling him off. After all, hadn't they all lived together for almost a year on end? He of all people should know that she wasn't complaining because she was used to a luxurious lifestyle. "I'm going on the deck," Genny said instead.

"Wait," Saber said, but Genny acted as if she didn't hear him which was obviously impossible in that tiny room.

That may well be her room, but she wouldn't be sleeping there. Not if she had anything to say about it. It was only two nights on this blasted ship. She could spend both those nights on deck. She'd find a way to stay up, maybe take a nap during the day time while Saber went out. She certainly was used to sleeping in strange places and getting hardly any sleep. This  _could_ work.

She went above deck. They'd just begun to sail and Genny watched the port growing smaller for a long time, her heart aching. When had it been that she'd considered Valentia her home of sorts? She could not recall when exactly it had happened, or a specific point. 

There were many people on deck, both crewmen and passengers alike. She took a seat, opened her book, and began to read. This particular novel involved prophecies, kings and heirs and very little romance. It wasn't Genny's  _favorite_ genre, but she also never liked reading romance in public. Boey and Mae used to tease her mercilessly, and she'd learned long ago not to showcase her love for romance. Especially since it seemed she had the least hands on experience on the subject. Was it possible that a romantic such as her could be so inexperienced at it? Perhaps that was the reason she still was one.

 Some time later, an uncharacteristic shadow fell upon her, blighting her sight to read. She looked up and saw a man who looked to be in his mid to late twenties, towering over her. The make of his boots looked expensive, with intricate, tight, stitching binding the tough leather together. His pants, belt, and tucked-in, stiff, white shirt also all looked rather expensive and he carried a haughty air in his stance, though she could tell by how he held himself and by his slimness that he probably had little to no experience on the battlefield. Her eyes traveled to his face. His skin bore no signs of being out in the sun for too long. He had a slender neck, high cheekbones, and hair so light blond it shined like platinum against the sun. As if he needed any more cool color to his face, his eyes were such a colorless hue, that Genny had a hard time distinguishing whether they were blue or gray. 

"If you're not outside to enjoy the view and sun, then why are you even out at all?" Even his tone was a little too polished, a little too refined.

"Does my reading bother you?" she asked, squinting at him. If he were to say yes, she would probably move. He looked every inch a noble house though it had to be one she was unfamiliar with. She'd gotten pretty good at facially recognizing the nobles. She considered it "research" when describing dukes and lords in whatever she wrote. 

"No," he said, "Only that you've got the best seat on deck to view the sea."

"Do I?" she asked mildly. "I'll move then."

Saying so, she closed her book, thumb wedged at the page she was currently on, and got up. 

The man seemed to lose a little of his haughty demeanor. He certainly looked a little flustered when he took her spot. "Thank you," he managed to spit out, as though the words were very painful to him.

She merely nodded at him and was beginning to walk away, when he blurted, "Have dinner with me."

She wasn't sure she'd heard correctly at first. She merely looked at him questioningly, before she turned red, realization dawning on her. As she studied his face, also rapidly turning red, she wondered if he knew just how strange it was for her that he was even showing interest in her. In her twenty-one years, she'd never had anyone show interest in her without an underlying reason. 

"What?" she asked.

He seemed cowed by this response. "I meant," he said slowly, "If you'd like to have dinner with me." It was like he wasn't used to asking.

Genny cocked her head. "Why?" Why would anyone notice her? A small voice in her head that sounded like Mae however argued,  _Who cares about the why! Just say yes!_ while another voice that sounded like Boey shot back,  _You don't even know his name._

He turned even redder. "Nevermind, this was stupid," he muttered, more to himself than her.

Genny took a steadying breath. "I only mean," she said, "We don't know each other at all."

"I didn't know that had to be a requirement to have dinner," the man responded.

"I don't know your name."

He took his own, deep, steadying breath. "I'm Leonard." he amended himself, "Sir Leonard. And you are?"

She thought he was mad, and wasn't sure she wanted to give him her name, but she stammered, "Genny."

"You're not a... a noble?"

She was astounded he would even think so. What gave him reason to think she was? She stared down at her clothes. They'd been washed so many times that the material had turned thin and soft. "No," she said, and couldn't help but feel offended. Celica had offered Genny a title and though being referred to as "Lady Genny of House Rosewall" or something like that, sounded appealing, it somehow felt too grand to her. She had panicked and turned it down, though she wondered what it would have been like if she  _were_ a Duchess or some other sort of noble.

"That's... that's fine," he said. "I... I hate nobles." He looked uncomfortable as he said it.

"But," she said, and stopped herself. She was going to add that  _he_ was one but she was sure he already knew that. She didn't have to tell him that.

"Okay," she said instead, to fill the void of silence. 

"So will you?" he asked haltingly. A lot of his sentences seemed to be halting. "Have dinner with me?"

She still regarded him with a distrustful eye, but well, what he offered couldn't be much worse than what Genny had endured. He wasn't, for instance, a graveyard full of Terrors and this way, she told herself, she could be out for a longer time. She wouldn't have to be with Saber. She'd rather be anywhere else but with the mercenary. 

"Okay."

And it wasn't until she'd gone to the bow-most part of the ship, out of his sight that she'd realized how peculiar the exchange had been.  _What in the world just happened?_


	8. The Stunning Bride

Dusk was beginning to settle in when Genny mustered up the courage to go back into her - well, _their_ \- room. She'd been putting it off all day, but realized she probably needed a change of clothes if she were to dine with a noble, and perhaps run a brush through her hair. The prospect of running into Saber weighed even more on her mind. There was a small part of her that wanted to make things right with him, if only to ease her own heart. But the rebellious part of her, the part that she hardly ever listened to, was vehemently opposed to this idea. Saber  _had_ been wrong here, she knew in her heart. He had been unkind to her, hadn't he? First promising that he'd watch over her and that it would be like he wouldn't be there and now they had to share a room? And then, telling her he didn't even  _see_ her as a woman even though he  _had_ kissed her years ago. The more she thought about it, analyzed each detail, the more she concluded that there was no way that had been some chaste kiss, that he  _had_ been interested in her. Or maybe that was just a thing she had told herself to make it seem more than it was. She hardly knew what to think anymore.

She made her way down to the last room and quietly opened the door.

Saber was nowhere in sight.

She let out a sigh and headed toward the bathroom to change out of her pink dress. She'd packed four sets of clothes for the trip, not including the one she was currently wearing. She picked out a white dress with a wide neck that almost exposed her shoulders and ended at her knees. The sleeves belled out, stopping at her elbows. After a moment of hesitation, she left her shoes and purple tie-up socks on and then began to brush her hair. She teased her bangs back and secured her purple headband over the ends. She'd learned this trick from Mae and had been doing it each time she'd had a date. Only lightly teasing her bangs back created some much desired volume which also lengthened her face which was, "lovely, but more circle than oval," according to the pink-haired priestess. 

She didn't wear makeup much, but she  _had_ packed a bit of balm and rubbed it over her lips, giving them a bit of a sheen. Then, she pinched her cheeks, sniffed under her armpits and hoped she didn't smell too terribly. There wasn't much she could do about the smell, though she had freshened up a little before she'd set sail.

By the time she was finished, and exited the bathroom, Saber still wasn't in sight. She walked out and headed toward the dining hall, suddenly anxious. She touched her hair, hoping it was in place. This was the first time anyone took interest in her and he hadn't even known who she was or her connection to Celica. It had to mean he was genuinely interested in  _her_ , though she couldn't imagine why.

The dining hall was not particularly full. There were square tables throughout the hall that seated four and a buffet table off to the side. There were a few sailors to the side, and other passengers, but aside from the quiet chatter and clinking of forks and knives, the sound wasn't unbearable. Saber wasn't here either which was also a relief for Genny.

She spotted Leonard quickly enough. His almost-silver hair was hard to miss and he sat straight up, unlike the rest of the patrons in the dining area. Almost immediately, as soon as she looked at him, his eyes were upon her. His eyebrows, naturally arched to give his features an intense look, softened at seeing her. His lips parted slightly, but he didn't say a word. He stood up and walked to the other side of the table, straightening the seat out for her to sit upon. He looked a lot more in his element now than he did on the docks when he had first spotted her. Much calmer.

Genny had been treated like a lady many times before. All the gentlemen she'd courted had impeccable manners. But this time seemed... different, somehow.

"Hello," he said. "I trust you found your way here easily?"

She couldn't help but giggle. "Well, yes," she said. "It's not a big ship."

His cheeks turned red. He really was quite beautiful in a strange way, she thought. Intense eyes, full lips, cheeks that colored red easily against fair cheeks. He looked youthful, which wasn't exactly Genny's type, but she could overlook that. "Yes," he said, coughing. "Well, fair enough." She expected him to ask her about who she was, things that interested her and the like. That's how most courting began. Or she expected him to talk about himself. But instead he said, in a distant voice, "What business do you have in Novis?"

"I grew up in the Priory there. I'm to visit friends."

Now he was a little interested. "A woman of the faith? That's rather rare these days, although I'm hearing there's a resurgence of the faith. A different, more unified religion."

"Oh?"

"A Guru, his name is Nomah I believe-"

"I know Nomah!" she said excitedly. Though Genny hadn't learned magical spells in the same vein that Boey, Mae and Celica had, and thus had not had the opportunity to be taught under Nomah (she'd taken the path of healing, which only the Saints at the Priory seemed to know), he had always taken time to ask Genny how she was, and how she felt to be living at the Priory. And he cared about Celica so much that he'd even joined their team toward the end of their journey, though he seldom saw the battlefield. "Sorry," she added, when she realized she'd interrupted him.

But he waved her apology aside. "Then surely you must know the efforts he's gone to bring back the religion of Mila and Duma."

She shook her head. She hadn't. She wasn't sure Celica knew either, but she resolved to let her know when she saw her again. "He used to worship Mila alone." she frowned. She had no idea how he could bring Duma into it as well when he scarcely knew of the other god  _and_ it had been so bastardized towards the end of the gods' lives thanks to the likes of Jedah and Nuibaba.

"Yes, well now that Zofia and Rigel are unified, he thought that the worship should also be unified as well and enlisted the help of a sage he'd found somewhere in Rigel. It's quite fascinating actually."

At that point, the food was served. There was salad, chicken, and yogurt. Genny dug in. She didn't realize how famished she was until now but Leonard seemed thoughtful. He seemed to be talking to himself, when he mused on, "I should write a book about it."

Interest piqued, Genny asked, "You write?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Of course I write. I wrote the book-"

But what book he had written, she didn't get to find out immediately because at that moment, she heard a loud scrape of a chair being thrown out and the next thing she heard was a very familiar, rough voice. "Was wonderin' where you'd gone to. Should've guessed it would be here."

Leonard flinched. Genny didn't have to look to the side to know that it was Saber.  _Gods! This man!_  She swore under her breath, which Saber seemed to catch judging by the way the corner of his lip twitched, but Leonard, thankfully did not. She wasn't sure if he was the sort to be offended by a swear.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that. What book did you write?" she asked now, as if Saber wasn't there at all. And why should she acknowledge his existence? It was clear that he didn't care about her. 

Leonard was staring at Saber and judging from his expression, which was an expression that Genny had worn on her face not too long ago when she'd first run into Saber after all these years, he was afraid of him. Genny, for her part, was still too angry at Saber to be properly afraid. "I was saying," he stammered, his calmness shattered, tearing his eyes away from Saber to Genny. Now he looked more like his awkward self from this afternoon. "That the book I wrote was the one you were reading this afternoon."

Now this  _was_ interesting enough for Genny to forget about Saber for a moment. It suddenly made sense, she thought. Why he'd been interested in her. " _The Ocean's Gray Waves_ was written by you?"

Leonard nodded. "Well, yes. It was my debut novel. I've written some more since then. The prequel, which explains how Lady Cerulea's parents met in the first place is titled _A Dragon's Nest_. Perhaps you've heard of it?"

"Interestin'" Saber said, though he sounded anything but interested in what Leonard had to say.

"I haven't," Genny said, still keeping up with the pretense of ignoring Saber.

"That one sold a lot better than  _The Ocean's Gray Waves_ , I wonder how you missed it," Leonard said.

Genny shrugged. "Well," she said. "I only get what catches my eye. I don't know what's popular out there." It wasn't like she  _could_ keep up with the literary circles these days, not when she had a kingdom to help Celica run when she had little experience running the kingdom in the first place. 

"An' you call yourself a bookworm," Saber interjected, his eyes boring into hers.

Genny hadn't looked once at him, though she'd felt the heat of his gaze on her. But that comment got a rise out of her. " _I_ don't call myself a bookworm." She finally looked at him.

She wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but he looked downright irritated. The expression on his face told her as much, that he was not to be trifled with at this moment. She felt a thrill of fear shoot down her spine, but she also felt somehow daring enough to do a bit of trifling herself.

Leonard was watching them and he cleared his throat when they continued to look at each other, as if Leonard was totally forgotten. "Excuse me, but who are you?" 

"He's no one," Genny said, without deigning to look at Leonard.

Saber's expression darkened even further. "Thought you would've learned a manner or two at that castle of yours. Don't you know it's rude not to introduce your new friend to-"

"This is Sir Leonard. Sir Leonard, this man is Saber," Genny said, cutting him off. She narrowed her eyes at Saber. "There? Happy?"

"A pleasure," Leonard said politely, holding his hand out for Saber to shake it. When Saber did nothing, he turned back to Genny and knit his eyebrows together. "You told me you weren't a noble."

Genny wanted to scream. How was it possible that in a few minutes, Saber had ruined the pleasant conversation they'd just been having? "I'm not."

"But you live in a castle."

She let out a groan of frustration and suppressed the urge to knock her forehead into the table multiple times. "Yes," she said patiently. "But I live there to help a friend of mine." She didn't mention that the friend, while not  _a_ noble, was actually royal. 

"You  _live_ at the castle?" Leonard repeated. "To help a  _friend_ out. Who  _are_ you exactly?" 

Just once, she'd have liked to have somebody show interest in her for who she was as a person. Yet now... she shot another angry look at Saber. This was his fault, she decided. "Genny," she said. "I already told you my name."

Saber looked darkly amused by this. He leaned forward toward Leonard, resting his elbows on the table. "You ain't heard of her? United Rigel and Zofia into Valentia? Well, not surprised, she's a modest one."

Genny wasn't sure how to feel. On the one hand, there was a little part of her that felt warm that he said those things about her. He made her sound... not like a wallflower. Like  _somebody_. It was a feeling Genny hadn't been acquainted with.

She stole a look at Leonard, wondering how he'd react. He  _had_ said he hated nobles, but she wasn't one, not really. To her shock, she saw the sudden chill that had overtaken Leonard. No longer did he look confused or curious but he looked suddenly, there was no word to describe it,  _frosty_. His lips drew together tightly and his eyes narrowed, his eyes looking even more devoid of color.

"Let me guess," he said. "You're with the Deliverance."

Genny opened her mouth to protest, but before she could tell him that she had never been part of Alm's party, Saber spoke first.

"Supposin' she was," he said, his voice quiet and calm. There was a certain stillness to his voice that Genny picked up on. "Why would that matter?"

Leonard narrowed his eyes and folded his arms as he regarded Saber. "Not that it's any of your business," he said, his voice icy, "But the Deliverance killed my brother."

"That can't be right," Genny said, without thinking. She hadn't fought with the Deliverance, it was true, but she'd come to know the members of Alm's army filled with commoners and nobles alike and had thought it inspiring, particularly when the Baron, Forsyth, regaled her with stories of how he'd become one of Alm and Clive's most trusted advisors. "The Deliverance wouldn't do something like that. If what you say is true, perhaps your brother was on the wrong side of the war and that's how he met his end." As soon as she said it, she knew it was the wrong thing to say. She caught Saber's warning glance that she should perhaps cease talking.

"Don't speak of matters you have little knowledge of, woman and mind your tongue," Leonard said, his voice sharp enough to make Genny flinch.

"You'd better mind yours," Saber said, now. "Give me an excuse, and I swear I'll rip your own tongue from your mouth."

"Who in the blazes are you to threaten me like that, you one-eyed fool?" Leonard hissed. "I congratulate the man who did that to you, but I wish he finished the job and totally blinded you."

"Fortunately, he's dead. Keep talkin' like that and you'll end up the same way," Saber warned but he still looked relaxed. He was smiling as though they were all discussing the weather, but Genny could see the hardness to his jaw, and how tensed up he looked. She knew she had to diffuse the situation before it got too out of hand. 

"You're right, I don't know your brother. Who was he?" she asked. She'd ask Celica later on about him.

But it turned out she didn't need to, because she had heard of the name before.

"His name was Fernand."

The tension in Saber's face melted away when him and Genny shared a look of recognition and puzzlement. Even Saber had heard of Fernand. They had buried him next to his beloved betrothed before Alm's coronation ceremony and had given him a burial that traitors did not deserve. It was mostly because of Clive, Celica had told Genny in confidence. Clive, Mathilda, and Clair had all loved Fernand as though he were one of their own, so Alm had pardoned Fernand.

The Deliverance wasn't even responsible for Fernand's death. That had been Berkut's doing, but Genny wasn't sure if that was common knowledge amongst Valentia, especially since Alm had also fully pardoned Berkut and had wanted former Rigelians to view Berkut as they had before; the strong, beloved heir to Rigel. The official story was that Lord Berkut and his betrothed had met their tragic end thanks to Jedah which wasn't a complete lie. She could tell that Saber was also conflicted in telling Leonard the official story. After all, wouldn't Fernand's brother deserve to know the real truth?

But something was niggling Genny. "I was told Fernand's family had all perished," she said as calmly and delicately as she could. "By a commoner's revolt."

He nodded slowly. "That would be correct. Fernand's father, stepmother, and siblings all perished. I was spared only because, like my brother, I was not at the estate at the time. I was... estranged... from them at the time. Now that I'm the only heir to the house however..." he trailed off, looking into the distance.

"Fernand  _liked_ nobles," Genny said, remembering what Tobin had said about Fernand during his funeral. Gray had the decency to remain silent throughout the funeral, perhaps because Clair had been weeping so openly throughout the procession and he hadn't wished to offend his beloved. But Tobin disagreed that Fernand should have been pardoned at all because, according to the expert archer, "He said the meanest things about us, but mostly Alm and  _hated_ that Forsyth was advisor to Clive before Alm had even showed up."

She held her tongue on that part. She didn't opt to say the negative things about Fernand, about his hatred for commoners that was felt until the moment he died.

Leonard tightened his mouth. Genny could see that he was familiar with his brother's antics. "Yes, well, truthfully my brother blamed the death of his family members because of the Commoner's Revolt. The truth could not be more different and Fernand was blind to see it."

Genny waited for him to go on, slightly leaning forward. She was curious about this noble, who she'd never met but had heard so much of. Saber simply looked bored, he'd sat back at his chair in a deceptively relaxed position. His eye was slitted and he was regarding Genny with a lazy expression. She tried to ignore his pressing gaze.

"The commoners living on our land managed by our family were starving and while they were wrong that our estate hoarded all the food and supplies to give to them, they were right to be angry with us." Leonard fisted his hands, looking down. "My family was responsible for decades of neglect and mismanagement. My mother, sisters, brothers may not have deserved the deaths that came to them, but my father squandered away his alliances by refusing to support King Lima. When we needed supplies from our king the most, he refused to aid us because we refused to support him."

"He was a corrupt king," Genny said. "Your father was right to-"

"I know that," Leonard said, interrupting her. "King Lima represented Zofia at its worst. But it was foolish of him to not support him when he was responsible for the lives of the thousands of people living on our lands. The one who rules has a duty to his people first, not to his own ideals."

His last sentence sent a chill down Genny's spine. The way Leonard had said that, without the residual awkwardness, as if he'd really meant it... he suddenly looked every bit the hero she had only ever read about, one who was passionate about his journey. 

"Pretty sentiment," Saber said. He looked unmoved, but his gaze was still on Genny. "Didn't we come here to eat?"

She tore her gaze away from Leonard. " _We_ didn't come here to do anything," she said coolly. She looked down and discovered her plate mostly empty. She'd eaten most of it and hadn't even realized, though she supposed she was full. " _I_ came here with  _Leonard_."

Saber's eye flashed at this, but this was undecipherable to Genny. Quite suddenly he unfolded himself from his chair. "And you'll be leaving with me. It's already late."

"I don't have to do anything." Her cheeks flushed. She tried to ignore him and returned her gaze to Leonard. "That was... inspiring." She meant it.

Leonard looked a little embarrassed, but nevertheless he smiled at her, the first one she'd seen on him all day. She could tell that he didn't smile often, but now that he did, she could see how sweet and genuine his smile was, reaching all the way to his eyes and giving him a unique warmth that melted easily into the silver of him. It was enough to make her heart flip.

"It's late," Saber said, his voice cold.

Leonard's smile vanished. He looked at Saber. "The lady said she wanted to stay. I ask again, who are you to stop her from doing so?"

Saber said nothing for a very long time, but his stare, directed toward Leonard's gaze was mutinous. And then he did something that made Genny's heart stop completely. He leaned toward Genny, and slung an arm around her shoulders, drawing her close to him until her head rested against his warm chest. The tips of his fingers grazed her collarbone just barely. She could smell him and discovered his scent was exactly like it was all those years ago; metal, leather, something else she couldn't place.

She heard the sharp smile in his voice when he said, his voice a low bass in her ear, "She just so happens to be my stunning bride."


	9. Seventy-Three Books

There were a million things running through Genny's mind as they walked away. She could still see Leonard's expression upon this revelation. She had abruptly excused herself and Saber had followed, slinking behind her, but she had not looked at his face. She couldn't begin to think what his expression was. Satisfaction? Wonder? Disbelief in his own recklessness and stupidity? And most importantly, why? Why had he said it?

She wasn't sure where to even begin, except that what Saber had done was outright cruel, in her mind. Calling her unworthy of being a woman one instance, and the next his "stunning bride"? Her seething lessened slightly when she remembered him saying that.

 _Stunning_ , he'd called her. Nobody had ever called her stunning. Some of the nobles had called her "demure" or "dainty" which she supposed was feminine enough. Once, she'd been called "Bookishly pretty." Never stunning.

But that was beside the point! She would not be warmed by flattery. The anger Genny desperately clung to, came back with full force. She wondered how many times he'd said that in front of other men who threatened to take away any other women he went after.

Instead of going below deck, to their room, Genny found herself going above deck and much to her annoyance, Saber followed. She ignored him.

Genny hardly got angry, and if she did, she normally didn't voice her anger. There had been a few times she was annoyed by Mae's antics, and felt insulted by Leon and how he never seemed to remember her name. But on the whole, she was usually calm, and if not calm, then she tended to be morose if she'd felt slighted in any way. 

She knew she had to tell Saber  _something_. That what he'd done was wrong. But her vast inexperience with the emotion left her silent, trying to figure out how best to attack him. Attack, because somehow she wanted him to hurt the way he'd hurt her, unintentionally or not.

There were a burst of stars waiting for them when they opened the door. There were a few people milling about with hushed conversations, but other than that, it was quiet. The ship rocked gently against the waves. Above deck, she felt the unsteadiness a little more and stumbled a little, but righted herself quickly before anyone could notice.

She stared up at the stars. They looked so far away, so cold, so ancient.

"Listen," Saber began.

"Stop talking," Genny said, and she was surprised that her voice was steady.

"Don't be like that," Saber said, but it was barely a plea and there was something in that which made Genny snap.

She turned to him, her mind bizarrely clear. "Who am I to you, Saber? Because I'm pretty sure what you are to me. One day you've kissed me, the next day, I'm nothing but a healer to you. A few years later you insist on accompanying me on a journey I've made before without your help, because you think I'm too weak and too childish to take care of myself. You told me you don't look at me as a woman yet you told that man I was your stunning bride. That makes you an asshole." It was the first time she'd said anything like this before, let alone insulted him, but she stood by her words.

He said nothing at first, but his eye was on her. His eyes, so dark they were almost black glinted in the darkness. Without the light of the stars and the sliver of moon, she wouldn't have even been able to see that. 

"Girl-"

"And you wont even say my name," Genny said quietly, cutting him off. "Right. I don't know why I bother." She turned away from him, leaning against the rails of the ship and peering over at the steady waves.

She'd come to a conclusion. And it was a lesson she'd come to many times before, with her mother and the way she wished that everyone could just stay together as they had when they went fighting with Duma. She couldn't control people, least of all Saber.

This was who he was. She'd known that for awhile now, through tales, through observation. She couldn't  _make_ him be any different. The only thing she could do was handle her own emotions. Which obviously meant she had to get over Saber. It was doable, she thought. She just never had to see him. 

 _Just a little more than a day after this,_ she told herself. 

"Can you look at me?" 

She didn't.

She pushed herself away from the railings, and was about to walk away but Saber grabbed her wrist. It was the first time they'd touched in three years. His grip on her was gentle, but firm, his hand effortlessly circling her wrist, the warmth of his hand enveloping her. His hand was calloused, rough, perhaps even more so than other mercenaries since he'd been in this line of work longer and had never worn gloves when he handled a sword.

She didn't try to run away, but she finally complied and twisted to look at him. "That was  _cruel_ of you, and you know it." There was force to her words, though her voice wavered slightly. She wanted him to know how she felt. It seemed crucial that at the very least he knew.

And maybe he did. For one second, she thought, or maybe imagined, the sudden slackness in his face, his lips twitching downward and his eye looking downcast. She had never seen him look like this before. She had looked at his face many times before, of course she had. He was  _ashamed_.

"I know," he said, and looked like he meant it. He let go of her wrist and ran his hand through his orange hair, looking away from her. She saw the broad planes of his face, the starlight reflected in his eye.

"What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," he admitted. "I just... He wasn't right for you."

She folded her arms, swaying a little with the ship. "You don't even know him, so how would you know? Wait, what am I saying? You don't even know me, so how would you know?"

He flinched. "That's not true."

"You hardly remember me, Saber!"

"That's not true," he repeated, shaking his head.

"We might have spent a year together, if that. Maybe sometimes we happened to be together on the battlefield, or sometimes I healed you from afar, before the others learned how to heal-"

"You read seventy-three books on our whole journey."

She stopped. Opened her mouth several times, but all she could come up with was, "What?"

He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows drawn into an irritated scowl. "I saw you read seventy-three books. I think I counted 'em all, it's not like you ever started or finished one in a night."

Her lips parted wordlessly. "You..."

"You always  _had_ to have your bread with butter. Didn't matter if it was old or hard or almost eaten. And if there was honey, you  _also_ ate it with honey, which I thought was disgusting, but you ate it like it was your last meal."

She thought she heard the waves crashing over and over in her ears, but it was the sound of her own blood pulsing. Her heart could not keep up and yet all she could say, in a weak voice, "It's not disgusting."

Saber turned away from her and began to march down, away from the stars and after a beat, Genny followed.

His gait was heavy, his footsteps so surefooted against her own struggles against the teetering ship. Inside the ship, the smell of the salty sea air was not as strong, but she could still smell it. They walked down a flight of stairs, and Saber continued. "Initially I kept watch of you because I thought you'd be the most likely to die. You were so small, and you had this craven look in your eye. The lass had some purpose, and the other girl looked confident too. I was never worried about the boy, but you? You were so quiet I knew I had to keep an eye on you so I did."

She wanted to protest, but her heart was in her throat and it was throbbing wildly. She was not weak, she wanted to say, though she'd never felt so boneless at this moment.

"At first," he said, as if she were no longer there, as if he were only speaking to recall the memory, "I told myself it was only because you were the only one who could heal our injuries. It was a survival thing, see? But when you taught the others how to heal, that excuse started gettin' flimsy even if you did it the best. I was watching you because..." he stopped abruptly.

They had finally reached the corridor where their room was at. Genny prompted quietly, "Because?"

"Well," he said, his voice rougher than usual. "It doesn't matter."

She realized she wanted him to say it. That he was in love with her. That was what this had been leading to hadn't it? He pushed open the door to their room and she entered first.

"It matters to me," she said.

He let out a huge breath through his nose. "It doesn't and it's pointless. When this journey's over, we'll part ways. You'll go back to the lass, and I'll go back to helpin' Jesse with that mercenary nation of his." He said it with a tone of finality, as if not to broach the topic.

It bothered Genny. It frustrated her to no end. How close had she been to hearing the words she'd been hoping to hear since she laid eyes on Saber after all this time. She went to the closet and began to change out into a nightgown, lamenting a little at how grandmotherly it seemed with its high, lace-collar, long sleeves, and a loose cut that ended slightly above her ankles. There was no shape to it and she couldn't imagine Saber being wowed by her appearance now to confess his undying love to her. But then, she'd chosen her sleeping clothes because she didn't think, not for a long time, that she'd meet Saber again.

She had to resign herself to the fact that this was as close as it would get for Saber to say he was in love with her. This put her in a sour mood. When she got out, she supposed he could see it on her face, because he asked, "What's the matter?"

He was sprawled, his hands tucked behind his head, one ankle crossed over the other, looking more relaxed than she'd seen in awhile on the bed.  _Their_ bed. She wondered what other women had seen him like this, recalling what the man had said earlier to Saber. Something about having women onboard all the time, the last one bringing them them some kind of trouble.

Her mood soured even more. Even supposing Saber  _did_ like her that way, what would she be but just another conquest?

"It doesn't matter," she couldn't help but mimic his own words back to him. 

His face darkened. "You're still mad about something."

"It's pointless," she parroted his words again back to him, knowing it was immature, but not being able to help herself. She stared at the floor. There was just enough room for her to squeeze there. It might be uncomfortable, but she reminded herself she'd slept on worse in the woods. She'd had to share a tiny tent more than a few times with Mae and Boey, the latter of whom had always freaked out at the prospect of sharing a bedroll with Mae and made Genny sleep in the middle. As Genny discovered that night, wedged between the two, Mae really moved around a lot in her sleep and sometimes her fingers crackled with electricity, when she had a bad dream. It was during those nights that Genny hardly slept for more than an hour or two, scared her clothes might catch fire or she might be electrocuted.

She thought longingly of her original plan to spend most of the night out of their room. It no longer seemed viable now that Saber seemed to want to keep an eye on her. The whole purpose of keeping out of the room was to avoid him but if he was insistent on not letting her out of his eyesight, then it defeated the purpose.

"You mad about what I just said?"

She let out a breath. There was no time like the present. "Who was the last woman you had in this room?"

He was surprised at this line of questioning. "What?"

"I know there were others," she said, keeping her voice as nonchalant as she could. "And the last one seemed to cause you a bit of trouble from what that man who let us in said, so..." She shrugged.

He stared out the pothole. "First of all, I don't make it a habit of traveling with women. It's a nuisance and keeps me from doing any job I need to. As for that woman you're referring to, it should be none of your business."

Genny's cheeks flamed. She knew he was right, but she still stared at him, imploring him to keep talking.

"'Specially since she came to me personally about going to Novis. Thought there was somewhat of a lead there though why she thought that is a mystery to me." He gave her a curious look. "Come to think of it, did the lass ask you to ask me about her?"

Genny's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"I only ask because the lass asked about her too. Seemed a little worried. Apparently I was the last one who saw her, from what it sounded like."

Genny was taken aback. Though she didn't know _everything_ Celica was up to these days, since there was so much to restore and so much going on for unification purposes, she was still surprised that Celica was interested in this mystery woman and even more, that Saber still kept in contact with Celica, though she supposed it made sense. Saber and Celica always seemed to share a bit of a bond that Genny initially was jealous of, but then understood it to be something different. That had been truly one of the only times she ever experienced any sort of jealousy though she wasn't sure why. 

"Who are you talking about?" Genny pressed. "Who was she?"

And he said her name like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Sonya."

 


	10. Tempest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: SOME sexual content, but not a whole lot. But uh, it is rated M for a reason, so you knew what y'all were getting into.
> 
> Also I want to apologize for the long delay. School began for me, and with school beginning, I also started to intern work. For those of you who don't know, which is probably all of you, I'm interning in the legal field while obtaining a JD so I hardly get any time to myself because I'm usually in school, studying, or working and this fic is pretty far down the list in terms of priority LOL.

"Sonya?" Genny repeated, dumbstruck. "What's she got to do in Novis?"

Saber shrugged. "Dunno. Said something about Novis's Priory being potent in magic. Figures, huh? You kids were some of the best magic-users I'd seen, and Jesse kept ravin' about the girl travelin' with the Deliverance who also had some experience in Novis. Sonya wanted to check the place out and stopped by Jesse's place for some company along the way."

Genny felt herself grow cold. "And naturally you volunteered?" 

Saber shrugged. "I'm nothin' if not reliable. Can't say the same for Jesse who spends his attention flirting with any woman he comes across. Kamui was on leave to visit Valbar and Leon."

She couldn't help but recall Sonya the last time she saw her. The beautiful and confident mage was no longer entirely herself and Genny couldn't help but suspect that whatever experiments she conducted to see if reversing witch magic were on herself. The clever, wry expression Sonya often adopted with a hint of cynicism and charisma was replaced each time with a little more glittering madness. She worried for her friend.

"How did she... look?"

Saber shrugged again. "Not herself. Dunno what she'd been doing since the war ended, but it wasn't pretty. She was prone to outbursts. She set several people on fire last she was here. Said a few things I don't think she would've if she were in her right mind."

"Like what?"

Saber shrugged and Genny was growing annoyed with this response. "Not important."

She was also quickly learning that "Not important" in Saber-speak was actually very important, but something he didn't want to say aloud. "If it's not important then you wouldn't mind telling me," she pressed.

He sighed, running a hand through the flame of his hair. He looked like he didn't want to be here. "Just that she was really unhappy. Said life would've been easier if she'd ended up like her sisters, that there was no more love left in the world for her. She..." he swallowed. "She tried to make a move on me when she said all that, but I told her she wasn't in her right mind and I wasn't her type anyhow and she wasn't mine either. That's when she laughed and laughed and said that was true because she wasn't jailbait."

That was surprising, though not so much when you considered what that crewman had said about the last woman bringing them trouble. Still, what he had said, was not what Genny had imagined. A scorned lover dumping a casket of wine, or something along the sort. Certainly not Sonya, and certainly not that she regretted the fact that she'd escaped Jedah's clutches and even more importantly...

"Jailbait?" Genny asked incredulously.

Saber studiously avoided her eyes.

She sat on the floor, her knees knocking against the bed. The strip of hardwood floor was very narrow, but she could fit if she lay down here. What had Sonya meant by jailbait? That Saber liked little girls? She felt a little sick at the insinuation. 

"What made her say that about-"

"If you have to ask, then don't," Saber said, his voice tightly drawn. He turned to his side so all Genny could see was his back.

She sat there quietly for a moment, her knees wedged up, then after a moment, blew out the candles, leaving them in darkness and lay on her back. The floor was hard, and the boat kept rocking, nudging her slightly this way and that, but she puzzled at Sonya, at Saber. Most of all, she hadn't known that Celica was still keeping track of all of them. Or was it just Sonya? After all, she supposed finding a cure for witches was important. They'd discovered after the war had been over, and the realms had been joined, that the Duma Faithful had thousands of witches at their disposal, and that just because Duma had been laid to rest, didn't mean all their evil magic had been restored.

Saber said, "Are you coming to bed, or what?"

Genny felt her blood run cold. "Um, I'm okay here," she said and it was just her bad luck that at that moment the ship rocked particularly hard, causing her to turn over and almost slam her face into the wall. 

She heard some rustling, as though Saber had just sat up. "You can actually  _fit_ on the floor?" he asked, sounding incredulous.

"It's not that bad."

There was a brief silence before Saber swore under his breath quietly. "Listen, I know it's not  _ideal_ for you or anythin' to be sharing, but the bed's big enough for both of us."

 _Both of us_. Genny shivered at that. "I don't mind sharing," she said quietly.  _But I do mind if I'm sharing with you._ "I just..."

"What? That it's improper?" He scoffed. "Listen, I won't make any moves on you, if that's what you're worried about. I won't even tell anyone we shared a room. It'll be our secret."

Genny was relieved, but she also couldn't help but feel that small twinge of disappointment. Quietly, she stood up. It was too dark to see where Saber was on the bed, and she hoped she wouldn't crash into him.

Misinterpreting her silence as further doubt, Saber continued, "I just can't sleep in good conscience knowin' you're on the floor and I'm up here. It's probably not as comfortable as the beds you have up in the castle, so it's not up to your standards, but-"

"I don't know why you keep thinking I'm some prissy girl," Genny said. "I went through the same things you did too, you know. I slept on the floor, went without bathing for days when there were no rivers and towns, and also there were times I went to bed hungry too. I was also in a tent that I squeezed with two other people. Just because I live at the castle, doesn't mean I'm spoiled." She lifted a leg up and slowly climbing into bed, making sure she hadn't touched Saber though she was sure he had felt her come into bed.

He was silent for a moment, then astonishingly, said in a quiet voice, "You're right. Sorry about that."

She'd hardly heard Saber apologize. There'd been one time, when they all thought Celica had died when she'd offered herself to Jedah, that she saw it in his eyes and heard his apology in every curse he uttered and she knew he was regretting not protecting her from such a decision. 

But here was the first time he'd actually said it. She smiled, knowing that he couldn't see, and liking for once they were in the dark. She turned to her side, facing Saber but unable to actually see him. She could hear his deep, steady breaths which were oddly calming to her.

"Good night," she said.

"Good night," he responded in a low voice, and she could now tell how close he was to her. Judging by how close his voice was to her, she could tell he wasn't that far from her and he was facing her too. There was maybe two feet of space between them. She could smell him somewhat faintly. He smelled like a musky wood whose name she couldn't put her finger on. 

She closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep, wondering how she would when he was right next to her.

* * *

 

But sleep she did, and when she woke up, there was watery sunlight streaming through the porthole. She'd found herself curled up in the middle of the bed, sheets at her waist. At some point, her nightgown had hiked up to her thigh. She felt warm for a moment and then noticed that Saber was already gone. She blinked sleepily, wiping away at the crusties in her eye. Flicking them away, she sleepily wondered where the one-eyed mercenary had gone, then decided it was perhaps just as well. She didn't know if her heart could handle actually waking up next to him. She stretched like a cat, arching her back and raising her arms above her head before she sat up, yawning.

She dressed herself quickly, and wandered up to the deck. The ship was rocking a little more gently than it had yesterday but the sun was hidden by stormy clouds, which surprised her. Yesterday had been sunny and cloudless but today was a totally different story. She couldn't even see the blue of the sky because of how many gray clouds they were. They hung wet and heavy. She stayed up deck for a moment, hoping to see Saber but failed to locate him.

She turned to the helm of the ship and noticed Leonard there, dozens of feet away, but watching her nonetheless. He was dressed in a long, dark coat which was striking against his pale skin and because of the gray cast today, his eyes looked even grayer today.

Genny blushed, remembering last night yet again, and turned away. What must he think of her? She hadn't even set the record straight and worse, chosen to go after Saber and didn't bother coming back. Had he waited to see if she had? It was terribly frustrating, she thought. She had liked Leonard, but she felt so shy and awkward that she had no idea how to approach him and set the record straight.

When she turned to him again, he was still watching her with a curious expression on his face. He didn't look terribly upset from her angle, though Genny supposed he had every right to be with how she'd treated him last night. The least she could do was acknowledge him.

She gave him a small wave but he didn't wave back which gave her an ill feeling. She wondered what was going through his mind, and part of her wanted to set things straight but where would she even begin? She hardly knew Leonard.

But she knew she had to start. She took a step forward, all intents and purposes to set the story straight. She wondered if he would find it scandalous of her to be sharing a room with Saber. Probably so, but she hoped he wouldn't. She needed him to know the whole truth which was really, that it wasn't as interesting as it sounded.

"Looks like a storm's coming," Saber said, his voice quite close to Genny's ear.

She jumped away from him, turning around. His gaze was on Leonard, who had turned away from them and was surveying the now unsettled waves.

"Where were you?" she asked.

He smiled. "Why? Were you lookin' for me?"

Genny tried to control the sudden rush of blood to her cheeks. "Yes."

He reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a folded up napkin, handing it to her. She took it, realizing it was warm and it contained something. When she opened it up carefully, she saw a slice of toast, lightly browned in the middle. There was butter slathered over it. She felt her heart beat, thinking about what he'd said.

 _You always_ had _to have your bread with butter_.

Even though it was cold out, she felt her insides warm up. "Thank you," she said quietly, meaning it, and took a bite. It wasn't the best bread she had and the butter wasn't properly salted, but it didn't matter. 

"It's nothing." Saber held his hand out. A drop fell on his palm, then two.

A few seconds later, Genny felt a drop land on her cheek. She brushed it away and finished eating her toast quickly. "It's not going to affect us, is it? The storm?"

Saber's eye looked impassive. "Dunno. Maybe it's best we go below deck. Not too below though, just in case."

He held out his hand to her, but Genny shook her head. "Wait for me. I have to talk to Leonard."

She saw something flicker in Saber's eye. Jealousy? Disappointment? She couldn't be sure if it was one of those, or if it was just her hopeful imagination. All he said was, "Be careful," pat her on the back and disappeared below.

Leonard had terrible sea legs, just like she had in the beginning, she could see upon closer inspection. His legs were wobbling precariously and his hands were gripping the ledge so hard, that she could see his already white knuckles, whiten even more.

"Leonard!" she shouted, just as thunder boomed, drowning her voice out.

She thought she hadn't heard him, and was prepared to shout at him again when he said, in a rather cold voice, "It's  _Sir_ Leonard."

He  _was_ angry. She felt her heart drop. She could feel the rain coming a little more regularly now.

"Sir Leonard," she said. 

He didn't say anything and didn't turn to acknowledge her.

"It's dangerous out here," she said. "Please come inside."

He turned to her then, still clutching the ledge. "Forgive me," he said, and his expression and voice was a touch softer. "I did not know you were married."

She stiffened and at that moment, the ship rocked violently against the waves causing her to tumble backward. Leonard tried to grab her, but was too late. She landed on her back with a dull  _thud_. 

The next thing she knew, Leonard had grabbed her by the shoulders and was shaking her. "Genny? Genny!"

It was raining now and Genny's clothes were soaked. The ship's crew was running about, securing lines, but other than that all passengers were gone, perhaps gone below deck.

She groaned and blinked, squinting through the rain at Leonard. He looked immensely relieved. "Can you stand?"

She sat up with some assistance from Leonard, his hand on her back, his other on her arm and lifted her. She felt a pain in her right ankle, if she put weight on it, but it didn't seem broken. "I need help," she said.

Leonard put his hand around her waist and slung her hand over his shoulder, supporting some of her weight and together, they hobbled toward the door and walked in. When it wasn't raining, Genny could see that she was more drenched than she thought possible. Her dress clung to every part of her body and was slightly see through, exposing the color of her underclothes. She'd worn a dark purple bra and panties which she now tried to cover, feeling shameful.

She let go of Leonard and leaned against the wall for support instead. "Some rain, huh?" she said, trying to smile, but her heart was beating wildly. Rain was never a good sign. It was wild, and if there was thunder and lightning, so much the worse.

Leonard wiped his hair back, slicking it over his head and watched her. "You look like a drowned cat," he observed.

"That doesn't sound flattering."

He turned slightly red. "Sorry," he muttered. "I'm not very good at... this," he said gesturing. "Talking to women I deem attractive."

 _Oh_.

She flushed. "You think I'm attractive?"

"Not in the traditional sense," he said, hastily, still red. "But when I first caught a glimpse of you, you had that look in your eye when you were reading and I..." he trailed off, still watching her. "I found a rarer view than just simple beauty, seeing you so engrossed in the words.  _My_ words. The sun was in your hair and you were so focused on what was in front of you. But that was before I knew you were a married woman."

She looked up at him. She was so unbearably cold now that she was no longer in the rain and there were no other pressing concerns. She felt a dull pain at the back of her head. "I should tell you something," she said.

"Oh?"

"I'm not married to Saber."

"Who?" He no longer held her gaze, but at a spot lower than her eyes.

"The man who joined us. Orange hair."

 "Oh," he said, leaning closer. He rested his arm against the wall next to her. "With the eyepatch. That's... good."

"Yeah," she whispered, unsure if he could hear her over the roar of the crashing waves, and pounding rain, but she knew he was looking at her lips and could maybe probably read them.

She felt his breath ghost over her lips. "Do you love him?" he asked.

She blinked. "What?"

"The man. Saber, you called him."

She tore her eyes away from his lips. Nobody had asked her that question before, and she was caught off guard.

Her first instinct was to say no. How could she love a man she hadn't seen in three years? A man she'd hardly spoken to when she  _had_ a chance to know him?

"I..." she said, and then she sneezed, spraying Leonard with the contents of her nose and some spittle, effectively ruining the moment. She looked at him in horror. "I'm sorry!"

He mopped at his face and straightened, no longer hovering over her in close proximity. She reached into her pocket where she stored the napkin that had held her toast and held it out to him. It was wet but he took it anyway and wiped at his face. "You must be cold. Let's take you to the dining area."

Again, he put his arm around her waist and wound her hand around his shoulder and supported her weight as they made their way down the hall.

The dining area, as it turned out was full. Most people had not wanted to return to their rooms, and as Genny noticed, neither did Saber. His eyes were locked on them and he quickly headed over to them.

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

"Yes," she said. "Just took a little tumble."

She saw Saber eye Leonard, how they were joined at the hip and how their arms were wound against each other, but his gaze was unreadable. She wondered if he would say anything.

But all he did was gesture toward a few chairs that weren't being used and ushered them into those seats. Leonard took extra care in letting Genny into her seat, his arms supporting her until he was certain she was seated comfortably. Her ankle throbbed in relief when she sat.

"What do you think about this storm?" she asked Saber, anxiety creeping into her voice. Surprisingly, she had never been caught in a storm on a ship. There had been bouts of light rain, and fog too, but never a thunderstorm that rocked the boat this way. She shivered hugging herself tightly.

Saber sat next to her. "I've been in worse," was all he said, but his voice was tight, and the lines around his mouth were tense. He was anxious too.

She wished she knew dark magic. She wasn't sure how it worked, but she supposed if one could learn spells to conjure lightning and the wind, then one could also control it and have it go away. But that would mean being heavily skilled in offensive magic to begin with, and she was sure she'd have to expend far more energy as she had with white magic to even use it. She frowned. She felt useless in this situation. She wished there was something she could do.

She sneezed again.

"You cold?" Saber asked, but he seemed to know the answer already.

"A little," she said, wiping her nose on her sleeve. Even though her sleeve was drenched, she still felt a gob of snot smear and wished she were anywhere but sitting between Saber and Leonard.

"You need to dry off," Saber said. "And a pair of dry clothes."

"I suppose I ought to," she said.

"Then go get changed."

She stared at him. "But there's a thunderstorm," she finally spluttered. "And the room is..." Their room was on the last floor. Supposing the ship really did capsize, it would be the worst place to be.

Saber rolled his eyes. "It's only going to take a few minutes. The longer you sit here, the worse your cold will become."

She knew deep inside that he was right. Unsteadily, she rose but a sharp pain shot bolted through her ankle and she stumbled. Leonard caught her by the arm before she tumbled totally, righting her.

"What's the matter?" Saber asked, crossing his arms. 

"I might've hurt my foot a little," she said. "I don't think it's broken though," she said. If she just braced herself against the wall she could make it to the room. 

"It may be sprained, however," Leonard said. "Allow me to be of assistance, Genny. You shouldn't be supporting your weight on that foot."

"No, that's alright!" It wasn't that she didn't want Leonard at her side again. Far from it. But were he to discover that she and Saber shared a room... much less a bed together. What would he think of her? She didn't want him to know and she certainly didn't want him to look at her different. What had he said about her earlier? The way she'd been reading his words... Nobody had ever said that about her before or looked at her that closely. If he were to discover that she'd shared a room with Saber she could only imagine he wouldn't see her that way anymore. Especially now that she'd told him she and Saber weren't married.

"It's not," Saber said, roughly. "C'mon, let's go." He got up heavily and offered his arm to her. 

Seeing no way around it, she accepted it, gingerly easing her weight against him. She glanced at Leonard. There was something on his face she wasn't sure how to interpret. As she limped away with Saber she wondered what she would do. This would be the second time she seemingly chose Saber over Leonard. After Leonard had made it clear that he was into her. More into her than any other gentleman ever had been in such a short amount of time.

For such a short amount of time, he seemed to understand her best. More than the other gentlemen she'd gotten to know. 

The boat rocked forcing her to press herself more tightly against Saber. They walked through the corridor and when they reached the steps to take them down to the last floor, Saber was surprisingly patient and gentle with her. He shifted his arm around her shoulders and held one of her hands to steady her. His hand was warm and large against her own and his smell once again overwhelmed her. He smelled like rain this time, but there was also that smell of leather.

When they got to their room he ushered her in and she limped over to change. First, she wiped her body down so she was dry. Her hair was still limp and wet, but she felt better about the rest of her body dried, though she was still cold. Then, she changed into a simple cotton dress, the color of cream. It went to her knees. There was a zipper in the back that she struggled to close and by the time she'd gotten most of it up, she found herself inexplicably tired. She wished there was a mirror to gauge her appearance. She must look a fright to Leonard, she thought. She wiped her hair up and exited the narrow closet. Saber was sitting on the bed.

Their eyes met, and she saw him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing. His lips parted as he got up and walked toward her. He barely had to take a step to reach her, but Genny's heart was beating wildly, as he leaned in close to her, his chest almost touching hers. She sucked in a breath and held it. She wasn't sure if she could _also_ take in the way he smelled when he was this close.

His arms drew around her and she closed her eyes. She didn't even ask what he was doing, though she realized she should have. Any person with a brain would have, she thought, but all she could concentrate on was his face, how the stubble of his cheek brushed past her damp hair, how the heat on his body radiated, heating up her own cold body. She was, once again, acutely aware of him in front of her.

And then -  _Zip!_  - her eyes flew open.

His fingers were tugging at her dress not downward as Genny had thought ( _Hoped?_ she'd wonder later on when she replayed the memory), but  _upward_ -he had zipped up the rest of her dress.

And now he was pulling away, and his presence, warm, and so  _solid_ was leaving and she knew it was now or never. She grabbed his sleeve. "Wait," she said and expected him to shrug her off, but surprisingly he froze in place.

"What is it?" he asked in a voice that sounded low in his throat and if he wasn't so close, she doubted she would have heard him, not with the thunderstorm crashing about them.

She wanted to tell him. She wanted to actually say it. That she desired him. That perhaps it wasn't love, not yet anyway, but it was something that would eventually reach there if she got to know him. And that she wanted to know him.

But she said none of those things. Instead she said, "I'm still cold."

"Oh," was all Saber said. He was looking at her hand, how it held on to his sleeve, as though this was fascinating to him. "You can ask Sir Leonard to warm you up."

"I could," she agreed. But her hand still held fast on to his sleeve, and he made no attempt to move.

She'd realized in that dank hallway, when Leonard had asked her if she loved him that the answer would have been no. But it didn't matter because at that point in time she only wanted Saber.

"But you want me too, don't you?" she said, but it wasn't a question. "You do."

His eye finally traveled up to her face, and his face was unsmiling. He moved closer to her, leaned down, touched his forehead to her's, until that was all they were connected by. He closed his eye and they stood there for a long moment. Genny's heart was still beating wildly, but she forced herself to look calm. "I don't," he said.

"No?" she asked, tilting her head just a fraction of an angle, so that her mouth was dangerously close to his. If she moved just a little more, their lips would touch.

There was a soft rumble of thunder. He moved his face down, she felt his lips part against hers when he said, "No."

She wasn't sure if there was more for him to say but it didn't matter. She captured his lips into a kiss, bracing her hand against his cheek to steady both of them, marveling at the roughness of the stubble on his cheek. The kiss was long, gentle, uncertain, his mouth damp, but closed, against hers, as though he were still deciding on something. When she ended it, she asked in a voice that was not quite a whisper, but neither her own voice, "No?" 

"No." And this time, he wasn't holding back. He grabbed her waist and pressed her against the wall and kissed her, his hands in her hair, stroking through the ends, until he was cradling the back of her neck. He was so unbelievably warm against her, that she hardly remembered the pain in her ankle, though she fisted one hand in his shirt to brace herself against him, the other, still on his cheek. His lips parted, turning the kiss a little wet and his tongue probed through. She opened her mouth and their tongues met in the middle. She let out an involuntary noise, which only seemed to excite Saber. He pressed against her further, his hips grinding against hers.

Genny gasped, and broke the kiss by tilting her head back, her head hitting the wall behind her softly. Saber didn't waste any time recapturing her lips, or waiting for her to kiss him again. He was kissing her, whatever skin he could find, her chin, her jawline, down to her exposed throat. He was  _hard_ against her and it felt wonderful. She had masturbated before, and had done so frequently. It wasn't like she'd remained purely virginal in all cases of pleasure. After all, what was one to do when one didn't have a partner? 

But it was one thing to pleasure oneself with fingers, rubbing against oneself. It was quite another to feel a  _man_ against her sex, even if there were layers of fabric separating them.

His mouth was still latched on to her throat, his open mouthed kisses hot and wet, turning more intense, his teeth grazing against her skin. He reached around her waist, fumbling for her zipper, and roughly pulled it down, shoving the collar of her dress down a little and exposing her shoulder. When he reached the juncture between her neck and her shoulder, he bit down gently and sucked at her skin. It was strange how this act, slightly painful as it was, turned her on even more. She moaned, her fingers sliding to his shoulder, to better brace herself, gently prodding him to go down further. She eased out of her dress, folding it downward so that her breasts were exposed to him. He licked the bite mark with long, flat strokes of his tongue, in an almost soothing way, before finally moving down.

He palmed her breasts, the roughness of his hands, contrasting with the softness of her skin. He was looking down at them, but she couldn't read his expression.

They were small, she knew, and the way his hands cupped them, they looked even smaller. She wondered what he was thinking when he looked at them. They were barely there. That perhaps she wasn't a woman after all, that they just weren't enough. 

"I know," she said, trying to inject some humor into her voice to show that she didn't really care. "I look like a twelve-year old boy."

It was the wrong thing to say, she'd realize later on. This statement.

He looked up at her then, and his expression surprised her. There was a hard, blazing expression on his face, almost predatory in its savageness, that was quickly dissolving into horror. "You have no idea," he said, his voice breathless. "What you do to me, do you?" One of his hands slid around her thigh and lifted it, winding it around his waist, before kissing her again. She ground her hips against him, feeling that sense of pleasure run through her again. He let out a moan against her lips, surprisingly vulnerable for someone like him.

"I think I have a good idea," she said, her voice unnaturally high, when he broke away from her reluctantly.

She reached out to him, but he backed away, the shock evident on his face, as though he couldn't believe what he'd just done. 

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He was scrubbing his face now. "This is wrong," he said, his voice sounding restrained. He dropped heavily on the bed and put his head in his hands.

The pain in her ankle was beginning again. "What is?" she asked, leaning against the wall for support.

He stared at her. "This. You. And me."

She felt a deep pit of dread form in her stomach. "I don't understand."

He let out a huff of breath. "Genny," he said and she realized it was the first time he'd ever said her name. Not "girl", not "you".

Genny.

He looked away from her heavily. "You don't want me. Not really. You're so young and I have a responsibility to..." he broke off.

"To what?" she demanded. "Make decisions for me? I-" she choked, feeling the blood drain from her face, suddenly uncertain. What if she were wrong. What if Saber didn't  _truly_ want her, the way she'd wanted him? "I want this."

Saber narrowed his eye at her, flashing a dangerous expression at her. "You think you do, but you don't."

It was a slap in her face, how he'd said that. She could feel the corners of her eyes burn, feeling the tears threaten to flow over. "Since when do you get to decide how I feel?"

"Look at us!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands out. "We're different in age, but it's not even that. You want something I can't give and you rightly deserve somebody better, somebody who could take care of you. Not me. I beat people up for a living, and I'm not entirely honest. I drink a lot, get into fights, sleep around. I don't have a home for you to run to, nor is a family something I can give you. And when you look at me each time, I can see it in your face. Those are things  _you_ want from me. And don't get me started on the age difference."

His statements were meant to pierce her, and they had, because she knew what he was saying was true, some of it anyway. Hadn't she thought about a marriage with kids with him the first time they'd kissed? But she couldn't tell him that, not when he said those things to her. She felt so ashamed for thinking of those things. "You don't understand a damn thing about me, Saber," she said, blood rushing to her face once again. She swiped at her eyes angrily before the hot tears threatened to fall. "You're just scared. That's something I never expected from you, but I guess it's true." she leaned away from the wall, standing on her own two feet. The pain in her ankle shot through her leg, but she ignored it. "You're right. This was a mistake."

She struggled back into her dress, difficulty with the zipper all over again. She was so ashamed, and her vision was blurring again, signaling that she was tearing up. She could see him faintly get up to help her dress. He looked stricken, but she shied away from him, struggling with the zipper. "Don't touch me," she said and to her immense relief, he didn't.

She didn't think she could handle his touch, not when her heart was so mangled, so broken. She thought about how she'd known this was a bad idea in the beginning, and knew she was to blame for even trying to persuade him. That, she thought to herself, was the worst part in her opinion. 

She had nobody to blame, not even him, for the way this had gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter required some extensive rewrite, additionally and it was frustrating to me because I didn't have a lot of time to rewrite and think and delete what with school and stuff. I was originally going to make this chapter THE chapter (there's always one sex chapter in a slow-burn, but it just didn't sit well with me in terms of character development ie things were happening too fast) so a lot had to be deleted and rewritten to suit Genny and Saber better. It sucks because I think this fic might be longer than I anticipated but hopefully only by a few chapters, maybe three or four more than anticipated. (lmao remember when I said this would be 10 chapters long, oh well)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed.


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